So near, and yet, so far............

Right now, I'm feeling a bit 'deflated'. Yeah, that's the best word, I'm not 'depressed' or 'sad', but just deflated. Let me explain.

On the 28th of April, right in the middle of our hectic house move, I got a voicemail from a recruiter. Now, I get these almost everyday, but this one was different. The recruiter was from Microsoft. I felt my hands shaking as I called her back, sadly, I had to leave a voicemail.

The job was a Premier Field Engineer role, specialising in Exchange Server. This was my dream job no matter what angle you looked at it from. I've had a long term interest in messaging/email, and this would put me right in the frontline of the most popular messaging software in the world. My commute would be cut by half. They had an on site day care, so my little girl would have a place to go. And best of all, this is Microsoft !!

Anyway, I eventually spoke to the recruiter a few days later, had a telephone interview, which went pretty well, and eventually had the 'assessment day' scheduled for last Friday (the 16th).

Now, remember that our internet was only connected last Friday (after the interview), so doing my research on the role, the company and studying for the interview was HARD WORK. I had to sneak a few minutes at a time at work. I used my mobile phone at night to look up stuff (painfully slow on a tiny screen). If those were the only troubles I'd faced last week, that might have been ok.

A friend of mine lost his wife the Saturday before. (10th). We were trying to help him out, and I was spearheading the fundraising for the funeral (the funeral cost £5000). So I spent a lot of my nights on the phone, asking people to donate money. On Wednesday, I came down with a cold, a really bad one, I had to take Thursday off sick just to make sure I could make it on Friday. I had fever, a blocked nose, a sore throat and a bad cough.

And on Friday the day of the interview, I swallowed a dose of 'Day Nurse' just before going in, and for 3 hours or so, I was healthy enough to interview, once I got home, I collapsed on my bed, relieved it was over and hoping for the best.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses. While my preparation was not ideal, I don't think I would have done any better had everything gone smoothly.

Anyway, I finally got the call on Wednesday that I wasn't being offered the job. While I had excelled in some parts of the interview, I could not answer one particular question in the 'HR' bit to their satisfaction, and the technical guys felt that they had to probe me to get answers to the 'technical depth' that they were looking for.

Now, it's not because I didn't get the job that I'm feeling deflated. Oh no. Even before the whole process began, I was aware that this job was 'a step up' from what I was doing at the moment, and I was honoured even to be considered for it.

No, the problem is, I've been investigating the possibility of changing jobs since we moved house, things have become a little stagnant where I am, and there's nothing like a one hour commute in a car everyday to make you look for the next step in your career. But after going through the Microsoft 'experience' all the stuff I'm looking at looks so.....well, ordinary. Dull. There's nothing out there that excites me like that role, that makes me feel like I'm on the way up, like my career is going someplace.

So right now, I'm at work, stuck doing a job I don't feel challenged by, wondering what might have been. And judging by the vacancies I get in my email every morning, I'm going to be here for a while............

Not even watching John Terry cry on Wednesday night could cheer me up.

I'm sure I'll feel better in a few weeks, but right now, well, I have to sit down, and look at all the positives, and MOVE ON.


  1. hmm job satisfaction matey...some of us struggled to find a job let alone the dream one!..sorry to hear bout interview matey..hang in there...life is a struggle and it wouldnt be fun if everything we desired turned up when we wanted it...**i cant remember where i heard that but i just wish it wasnt true** ...you know about my own situation...constant self-analysis n all...:-) hey we r liverpool fans- hope is what we always have and that my friend will lead us well..**or so i hope n pray**

  2. Hi Boso, I'm very sorry to hear that you didn't get the position, but perhaps now was just not the right time? Trust God, something else will come along and if it's right for you you'll get it. The fact that they sought you out like that shows that you have the skills and abilities, chin up.

  3. best of luck in your quest for a more fulfilling job. I'm sure you'll find it in no time.


  4. Boso, I know how it can feel to be stuck in a job that doesn't satisfy! At the same time remember that the grass isn't always greener! Is there nothing you could change in your current role to reinvigorate it?

    As for Microsoft - I know what you mean, I once felt that way about BT, but having worked with BT extensively and seen how dogmatic, hidebound, and short sighted they are, I wouldn't consider working there now!

  5. Doh. When the time comes, you will have it.

  6. Hang in there, dude. Sometimes disappointments are there to keep us in place long enough for a better opportunity to turn up. You never know, maybe something you never even thought of will come up that'll be bigger and better than the Microsoft job.

  7. Thanks guys for all your kind comments.

    Jason: I've had problems with this role almost from day one. I was persuaded to move on to a new role in the company, but the new role has nothing to do with my core skills and is not a job I would have taken if I had a choice. That's why I'm looking for a new job, I need to do something in line with my career aspirations, and I'm not sure I'll find it here. If you send me an email, I can be a bit more specific.