28.6.06

Are you incompetent?

Do you enjoy driving customers mad?

Are you competely useless, and have no idea what you should be doing?

Do you aspire to work in an environment, where there are several people just like you, supported by systems that must be centuries old, and enable you to be as unhelpful as possible?

Then you should be working for UK Online.

UK Online is committed to being bottom of customer service leagues. While we have improved our services slighty this year by providing support for longer hours, we have ensured that the same inept people answer the phone everytime you call. Take Boso, a blogger for example.

Last year, when Boso was moving house, we charged him £75, and told him moving his broadband would be as painless as possible. We frustrated him by not cancelling his broadband at his old address, knowing fully well that until we did so, he would not be able to move his telephone line, and until he did that, we would not be able to activate his braodband at his new house. One of our attendants was rude to him, before we finally decided to disconnect him after 3 weeks. Oh, and did we mention that he had to call us between 9am and 5.30pm (work hours) Monday to Friday? And he was on hold for an average of 30 minutes each time. If you don't believe us, check out the links to his old blog, it's interesting how he documented all his 'troubles'.

But that's not the end. Oh no. We then forgot to activate his broadband at his new house. He had to call us and remind us about it. Did we mention that he was being billed all through this time? Placing the order meant he needed to wait another 10 days for his internet. Some idiot in our customer service thought it would be a good idea that we refund him 2 months subscription, I can assure you that you won't meet this person if you decide to work for us, and we have fired her. Then we activated his broadband. He was insisting that his internet still wasn't working. On close examination, we found that we activated his broadband, at his old house. I mean, we thought he had £75 to waste, why pay us to move your broadband, and then expect us to take it to another address? We thought you just meant to move it around your house !! We didn't really care, as he was tied to us with a 12 month contract, whether he liked it, or not.

 Anyway, we didn't hear from Mr. Boso for another 6 months, till he decided to upgrade his broadband to a faster connection. When he did so, we forced him to pay £80 for a router, and then we sent it.....to his old address. Yes, that's right. Apparently, for some reason, he has 2 address in our system, so while some systems have been updated with his new address, some still have the old one. Nice, isn't it.

And now. He calls us again. Says he's cancelling the service. We ask him why. He said he's moving again. We asked him if he wanted us to move his broadband. 'Over my dead and rotten body!' he said. 'Why not?' we asked. He said we messed up the last move, and that he never wanted to have anything to do with us again. We were proud to have frustrated a customer to use such strong language, so we agreed to cancel, and he's no longer paying us.

But we can't make life too easy for him. It's taken about 3 weeks now, and we still haven't cancelled his service. And while he's getting his broadband for free, Boso can half complain. You see, he can't move his telephone line till we shut off the broadband. He was on the phone with us for over an hour in total, as we made him speak to 4 different departments, Customer Service, Customer 'care' (we use that word loosely), Technical Support and our order status team. Well apparently, there was an admin error on the paperwork we sent to BT, and thanks to him we found out. So we're hoping to cancel his broadband after another week or so.

Does this story inspire you to want to work for us ? Do you enjoy making people's lives a living hell? We hope we have managed to convince you, that UK Online is committed to having the WORST customer service not just in the UK, but WORLDWIDE.

17 comments:

  1. YIKES!! That sounds HORRIBLE! Let me know if you want any help "taking them down" (if ya know what I mean). I got some built up frustration I could get out.

    *Puts ninja outfit on just in case*

    ReplyDelete
  2. holy mother of god..bet that was therapeutic bro!:-) thats me never going near uk online then!:-) hope ur feeling better atleast ur done with them now...and i know how angry u were the last time u moved!

    ReplyDelete
  3. WEll, when they finally disconnect me, I'll be through with them !!

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a nightmare, I do know of a company as bad although I am too chicken to write their name. They have orange vans and do "supposed" next day delivery and teach most of thier operators to be as arrogant as possible!
    Once its over you can breath a sigh of relief and then exact your revenge! lol.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lol Boso, I really enjoyed this rant! Poor you! *chuckles* Sorry, but it IS funny the way you've worded it! :) x

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know how you feel. We tried to get a connection with UKOnline and it turned out badly. Very few companies will touch Selly Oak because the phone lines are old and UKOL seemed to offer the best deal. They made us pay £20 a month without actually providing us with broadband. And when we complained, they just blamed BT. Rose had to cancel her bank card to stop them taking the money out of her account. In all we were charged for four or five months for a service that wasn't actually provided.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh dear, Rob, that's terrible. So that's how bad they are? I thought they just didn't like me...

    ReplyDelete
  8. You know, lousy service is not limited to UK Online.... But I sympathise with you, Boso. Hopefully you'll be all straightened out SOON.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The most interesting part of this story is that UKOnline broadband is provided by EasyNet who were recently purchased by BSkyB. Given that BSkyB will not want their name tarred by bad customer service this probably explains why they have been delaying their launch of the BSkyB's broadband offering i.e. rebranded UKOnline. As I work in the industry I would suggest that your issues are, however, more to do with BT's technical provisioning of Local Loop Unbundling than the actual competency of UKOnline, not that that is much consolation to you now. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Katharine: Well, you might be right, but in my last job, we used Easynet Internet for a while, but they let us down so many times that we had to move to another provider. They always blamed BT for any problems we had, and we were without internet for up to 2 days once. The new provider has the same problems with BT, but the customer service was so much better, it made the whole thing a lot more bearable.

    Ironically, I'm about to set up Sky for my new flat, and might have been tempted by their free internet (if indeed it was free). But I'll need Internet now, and I'm going to sign a 12 month contract, so it might be a while before I can go with Sky.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Its the provisioning of Local Loop Unbundling IT interfaces that is causing the issues so unfortunately they were telling you the right story when they said it was BT's fault. However, that does not excuse bad customer service in general. I'd hold off on your Sky TV package until the broadband comes, rumour has it, its due next Monday!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Next monday as in the 3rd, or next Monday as in the 10th?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Just been told by the city analysts that it will be mid July. We thought it may be 3rd July but apparently they don't want the launch to be clouded by World Cup news - typical.

    ReplyDelete
  14. So do you advise that I hold out for both Sky and broadband for my new flat, and then get both of them when this comes out? Although thinking about it, I'm not sure I want to go down that UK Online route again........and I don't think the Exchange at the new place is enabled, as UK Online said they would be offering me broadband through BT's network for a ridiculous price anyway. I think I'll just get my Sky TV and broadband rightaway....or what do you think? Thanks for all the info by the way !!

    ReplyDelete
  15. That's a tricky one. If you are really unhappy with UKOnline then going with Sky may annoy you but I would be very very surprised if Sky do not wipe the floor with the competition and offer something very competitive, if not ludicrously cheap. How economic it will be for you to take their broadband depends on which package you are on for TV. If you are a premium customer for TV then you may find they give you broadband for free in line with Carphone Warehouse and Orange offers. The other question is whether you were planning to bundle in a home phone with your purchase? Regardless of all this however, unless you want some very obscure channels you would be much better to go with Cable in Langley as you'd get phone, TV and broadband from one provider at a much cheaper price than buying them from all separate suppliers. Hope that helps.

    ReplyDelete
  16. You won't believe it !! Telewest's head office is in Langley. 10 minutes walk from our flat. THEY DON'T PROVIDE SERVICES TO OUR STREET.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Boso,
    My friend had the same experience with Carphone Warehouse. HE called them a monmth inadvence thathe wasmoving house and gave them the date to transfer services to his new home, they didnt. For 3 weeks after that, the fone line at his old home was still working, bills still being sent there, he called again, they apologised, said it would be transferred, two weeks after, still no action!! Angrily, he cancelled his service agreement and went back to BT. Thats another tug of war!!
    Any Visible form of good Customer Service in the UK in any form is diminishing and deteriorating rapidly!!!

    ReplyDelete