29.5.06

Typical Nigerian mother……………

Click here !!

27.5.06

Flat hunting

Went to see 2 flats in Ruislip and one in Langley. The flats in Ruislip were quite nice, a bit pricey, but one of them was more than OK.Langley was really, really wonderful, the area was secluded, quiet and very nice, the flat was modern, well presented, close to the station, everything you wanted. And priced affordably to boot !! Unfortunately, the flat was too small. We couldn't work out how to fit ourselves, our stuff and eventually, the baby into the flat. It's like each flat had its own good points, we wish we could take all the stuff we like about each flat, and then put them all together to make 'the perfect flat' !!

 So it looks like we're still looking. Trying not to put pressure on ourselves, but we need to pick the right flat at the right price. Fortunately, we don't need to move till mid-July, so fingers crossed, we'll it sorted by then.

I stand corrected

Two of my readers have corrected me.

Apparently, 'Omolara' does not mean what I thought it did. It means 'my children are my family/folk/relatives'. It's a name that doesn't translate perfectly into English, but is 'Word perfect in Yoruba' says my 'Yoruba expert'

Flat hunting

Went to see 2 flats in Ruislip and one in Langley. The flats in Ruislip were quite nice, a bit pricey, but one of them was more than OK.Langley was really, really wonderful, the area was secluded, quiet and very nice, the flat was modern, well presented, close to the station, everything you wanted. And priced affordably to boot !! Unfortunately, the flat was too small. We couldn't work out how to fit ourselves, our stuff and eventually, the baby into the flat. It's like each flat had its own good points, we wish we could take all the stuff we like about each flat, and then put them all together to make 'the perfect flat' !!


 So it looks like we're still looking. Trying not to put pressure on ourselves, but we need to pick the right flat at the right price. Fortunately, we don't need to move till mid-July, so fingers crossed, we'll it sorted by then.

I stand corrected….

Two of my readers have corrected me.

Apparently, 'Omolara' does not mean what I thought it did. It means 'my children are my family/folk/relatives'. It's a name that doesn't translate perfectly into English, but is 'Word perfect in Yoruba' says my 'Yoruba expert'

26.5.06

Shut UP !!

George Galloway

George Galloway has a problem. Like most politicians, he likes to talk. He loves people to listen to him. He is an attention seeking, media loving moron. Opposing the Iraq war may have been noble, and by going to the mainly muslim bourough of Bethnal Green and Bow to contest the elections, defeating Oona King, he declared he had given Blair 'a bloody nose'. Then it was off to an American Senate Committee to declare he was innocent of acceting bribes from Saddam.

At this point, his popularity was at a high. But my problem with Galloway is that his friendship with Saddam was at best, stupid. The whole world was trying to get rid of the man, but the rebel in Galloway saw him as a friend.


Going on celebrity big brother made me lose all respect for him. This stupid move to capitalise on his popularity ended in humilation for the MP. WE now have pictures like this to remember him by:





Prentending to be a cat, being fed.

Well, this week, he's done it again. Having being starved of attention, he jumped on a plane to Cuba, to visit the man who is now the most popular dictator in the world, Fidel Castro, to declare his undying support for him. But that wasn't enough.



Today he is now saying that it will be justified for a suicide bomber to kill Tony Blair. Doesn't this man know when to shut up? Calling for the murder of the Prime Minister? In some countries, he could be tried for treason, incitement to murder.

Galloway, for some reason, is a respected politician. But he should be careful, because he will get himself into serious trouble soon.

New platform

I'm going to wait a while before I move this blog, the new platform for 20six is finally coming, early June !! So I'm going to wait to see how that goes, and figure out my next move......

However, the new blog is doing well, pop over and have a look !!

BOSO.ME.UK

23.5.06

It’s a………………….

girl !!

Had the scan today, and 'apparently', we're having a girl. Unfortunately, I couldn't be there at the scan, so I have to take my wife's word for it, but these things aren't 100% accurate, so I'm hoping they're wrong, and it's a boy.

Anyway, the name we chose for a girl is 'Omolara' which in our language means 'A child that is born at the right time', 'Lara'  is the short form, and what most people will call her.

That is if it's a girl, of course.

It’s a …………….

girl !!

Had the scan today, and 'apparently', we're having a girl. Unfortunately, I couldn't be there at the scan, so I have to take my wife's word for it, but these things aren't 100% accurate, so I'm hoping they're wrong, and it's a boy.

Anyway, the name we chose for a girl is 'Omolara' which in our language means 'A child that is born at the right time', 'Lara' is the short form, and what most people will call her.

That is if it's a girl, of course.

22.5.06

Memo to our wives(and girlfriends)

 One proposition I have not had the courage to tackle in a 'rational' manner in the last couple of weeks is: "choose between me and Liverpool". As most husbands would agree with me, the intimidating manner in which such ultimatum is usually posed leaves no room for any unpalatable decision.

But perhaps to prevent further trouble, especially in the coming crucial month, some husbands have got together and come up with this memo which I recommend to our darling wives. So that there may be peace in our homes:
From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of every newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be totally ignored.


  • During the World Cup, the television is for us, your husbands, at all times, without any exceptions. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, we don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting us. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, we won't even see you and please make sure you put clothes on right after. Because if you catch a cold, we won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you lest we miss the next important match.




  • During the games we will be blind, deaf and dumb, unless we require a refill of our drinks or need something to eat. We know you would not, at this most crucial period, expect us to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor….It won't happen!




  • You are welcome to sit with us to watch one game and you can talk to us during half-time but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half-time score is favourable. In addition, please note that we say 'one' game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse that we 'spend time together'.




  • The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night are just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying 'but you have already seen this…why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?' We don't care if we have seen them or we haven't seen them, we want to see them again. Many times.



  • Please, inform your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that require our attendance because: a) we will not go, b) we will not go, and c) we will not go!
    But, if a friend of ours invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.


And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every four years". We are immune to these words. Because after the World Cup comes the Champions League, English Premiership, Spanish La Liga, Italian League, CAF Champions League, CAF Cup, Copa Liberterdores, WAFU CUP, COSAFA Castle Cup…

Nicked this from my man Luminous.

Cooollldd

I've got a cold. I hate them, I get horrible headaches, and find it hard to concentrate at work. And the recent rain hasn't made things any better either.

This coming weekend, we're going to look at a few flats. Yup, we're moving house again, but I'm a bit excited this time. We're moving to an area I have no idea about, we don't have any friends or family in the area, it's like a step in the unknown. And with the baby coming, it's all very mysterious and exciting, and I'm really looking forward to it.

On the other hand, I'm watching the Big Brother highlights and my wife and I are laughing our heads off !! What kind of character is this Shabaz? It's official, his village is missing its idiot !!

Memo to our wives and girlfriends

One proposition I have not had the courage to tackle in a 'rational' manner in the last couple of weeks is: "choose between me and Liverpool". As most husbands would agree with me, the intimidating manner in which such ultimatum is usually posed leaves no room for any unpalatable decision.

But perhaps to prevent further trouble, especially in the coming crucial month, some husbands have got together and come up with this memo which I recommend to our darling wives. So that there may be peace in our homes:

From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of every newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be totally ignored.


  • During the World Cup, the television is for us, your husbands, at all times, without any exceptions. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, we don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting us. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, we won't even see you and please make sure you put clothes on right after. Because if you catch a cold, we won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you lest we miss the next important match.




  • During the games we will be blind, deaf and dumb, unless we require a refill of our drinks or need something to eat. We know you would not, at this most crucial period, expect us to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor�.It won't happen!




  • You are welcome to sit with us to watch one game and you can talk to us during half-time but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half-time score is favourable. In addition, please note that we say 'one' game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse that we 'spend time together'.




  • The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night are just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying 'but you have already seen this�why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?' We don't care if we have seen them or we haven't seen them, we want to see them again. Many times.



  • Please, inform your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that require our attendance because: a) we will not go, b) we will not go, and c) we will not go!
    But, if a friend of ours invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.


And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every four years". We are immune to these words. Because after the World Cup comes the Champions League, English Premiership, Spanish La Liga, Italian League, CAF Champions League, CAF Cup, Copa Liberterdores, WAFU CUP, COSAFA Castle Cup�

Nicked this from my man Luminus.

Collld….

I've got a cold. I hate them, I get horrible headaches, and find it hard to concentrate at work. And the recent rain hasn't made things any better either.

This coming weekend, we're going to look at a few flats. Yup, we're moving house again, but I'm a bit excited this time. We're moving to an area I have no idea about, we don't have any friends or family in the area, it's like a step in the unknown. And with the baby coming, it's all very mysterious and exciting, and I'm really looking forward to it.

On the other hand, I'm watching the Big Brother highlights and my wife and I are laughing our heads off !! What kind of character is this Shabaz? It's official, his village is missing its idiot !!

19.5.06

Big Brother…….

So it has begun.

I watched the launch show as they introduced the crazy and fame seeking housemates one by one.

When they got to Lea, her audition clip made my heart skip a beat. No, it wasn't her surgically enhanced 30M breasts (yup, confirmed fact), or the fact that she looks like a typical blonde bimbo.

No, she was lablled "BOSO". Honest.

Interesting.

On closer examination, I found that it was actually "B080", but it looked like "BOSO" in the horrible handwriting it was scrawled in. So is this a sign?

It's off to Celebdaq,.....................

Thank God it’s Friday

SecretarysA_sss.wmv

Big Brother….

So it has begun.

I watched the launch show as they introduced the crazy and fame seeking housemates one by one.

When they got to Lea, her audition clip made my heart skip a beat. No, it wasn't her surgically enhanced 30M breasts (yup, confirmed fact), or the fact that she looks like a typical blonde bimbo.

No, she was lablled "BOSO". Honest.

Interesting.

On closer examination, I found that it was actually "B080", but it looked like "BOSO" in the horrible handwriting it was scrawled in. So is this a sign?

It's off to Celebdaq,.....................

Traffic Sign

404sign

Thank God it’s Friday….

17.5.06

Obituary !!



With deep sense of happiness and victory, we are happy to announce the timely demise of demonic third term, which happy event occurred yesterday at the National assembly complex after a successful ghastly defeat of the proponents. Until his death, 3rd term was the most controversial issue affecting the minds of all Nigerians. He is survived by a few treacherous power drunk selfish individuals and millions of enemies among Nigerians.

Among his children are Remu\'a Sanjo\'oba, Tuman Siruna, Ke nwe jnr, Naga rryje, Rakitu Minusa, Karfima Ahmad, Hatudal Kisar Datafi, Neni A Nyto, Karbu Bba Himibra and many other shameless Nigerians. May his soul burn in hell. Let me hear you say BIG AMEN.

 (If you're wondering what all this is about, click here)

16.5.06

A tale of two guys

If you live in the UK and you haven't heard this story yet, you should find a gun, and shoot yourself.

Imagine you're at the BBC for a job interview. Someone calls your name, and asks you to follow him. All of a sudden, someone is putting makeup on you, and before you can say "What the hell is going on", you find yourself being interviewed on live TV !!

Well this happened to poor old Guy Goma who has become so popular, he even has his own entry on wikipedia !!

Goma is a Congolese Business Studies graduate, and was expecting an interview for an upper level IT position, when he was mistaken for Guy Kewney, an Internet music expert. Thinking the interview was a role-play exercise, he played along and answered the interviewer's questions. He was being asked his opnion on the court case between Applecorps (owned by the Beatles) and Apple Computers over the use of the Apple trademark.

Video

Link to the video here.

Transcript of the interview

Karen Bowerman: Guy Kewney is editor of the technology website Newswireless.

(Face of horror - you have to see this !!)

KB: Hello, good morning to you.

Mr Goma: Good morning.

KB: Were you surprised by this verdict today.

Mr Goma: I am very surprised to see... this verdict to come on me because I was not expecting that. When I came they told me something else and I am coming. So a big surprise anyway.

KB: A big surprise, yeah, yes.

Mr Goma: Exactly.

KB: With regards to the costs involved do you think now more people will be downloading online?

Mr Goma: Actually If you can walk everywhere you are going to see a lot of people downloading the internet and the website and everything they want. But I think eh It is much better for development and eh to inform people what they want and to get the easy way and so faster if they are looking for.

KB: It does really seem the way the music industry's progressing now that people want to go onto the website and download music.

Mr Goma: Exactly you can go everywhere on the cyber cafe and you can take, you can go easy. It is going to be an easy way for everyone to get something to the internet

KB: Thank you. Thanks very much indeed.

The producers realised their error, and Mr. Goma went on to atten his interview. He has since been interviewed on BBC Radio 4, and on BBC News 24, but today, everyone has been talking about him, and he has become a 'mini-celebrity'.

The latest news is that he is still waiting to hear from the BBC about whether or not he got the job. But who knows, this may be the beginning of a TV career !!

Â

A tale of two Guys….

If you live in the UK and you haven't heard this story yet, you should find a gun, and shoot yourself.

Imagine you're at the BBC for a job interview. Someone calls your name, and asks you to follow him. All of a sudden, someone is putting makeup on you, and before you can say "What the hell is going on", you find yourself being interviewed on live TV !!

Well this happened to poor old Guy Goma who has become so popular, he even has his own entry on wikipedia !!

Goma is a Congolese Business Studies graduate, and was expecting an interview for an upper level IT position, when he was mistaken for Guy Kewney, an Internet music expert. Thinking the interview was a role-play exercise, he played along and answered the interviewer's questions. He was being asked his opnion on the court case between Applecorps (owned by the Beatles) and Apple Computers over the use of the Apple trademark.

Video



Link to the video

Transcript of the interview

Karen Bowerman: Guy Kewney is editor of the technology website Newswireless.

(Face of horror - you have to see this !!)

KB: Hello, good morning to you.

Mr Goma: Good morning.

KB: Were you surprised by this verdict today.

Mr Goma: I am very surprised to see... this verdict to come on me because I was not expecting that. When I came they told me something else and I am coming. So a big surprise anyway.

KB: A big surprise, yeah, yes.

Mr Goma: Exactly.

KB: With regards to the costs involved do you think now more people will be downloading online?

Mr Goma: Actually If you can walk everywhere you are going to see a lot of people downloading the internet and the website and everything they want. But I think eh It is much better for development and eh to inform people what they want and to get the easy way and so faster if they are looking for.

KB: It does really seem the way the music industry's progressing now that people want to go onto the website and download music.

Mr Goma: Exactly you can go everywhere on the cyber cafe and you can take, you can go easy. It is going to be an easy way for everyone to get something to the internet

KB: Thank you. Thanks very much indeed.

The producers realised their error, and Mr. Goma went on to atten his interview. He has since been interviewed on BBC Radio 4, and on BBC News 24, but today, everyone has been talking about him, and he has become a 'mini-celebrity'.

The latest news is that he is still waiting to hear from the BBC about whether or not he got the job. But who knows, this may be the beginning of a TV career !!

Money worries

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a three-man business."I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"Excuse me?" the young accountant said.

"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."

"I see," the young accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"

"I will start you at eighty-five thousand dollars."

"Eighty-five thousand dollars!" the young man exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"

"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

Salesmanship

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience," he wrote "lifeguard." That was it. Nothing else.


"We're looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself as well," said the hiring manager. "How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?"

My friend replied, "I couldn't swim."

He got the job.

Money Worries

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a three-man business.

"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"Excuse me?" the young accountant said.

"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."

"I see," the young accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"

"I will start you at eighty-five thousand dollars."

"Eighty-five thousand dollars!" the young man exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"

"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

Salesmanship

My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience," he wrote "lifeguard." That was it. Nothing else.


"We're looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself as well," said the hiring manager. "How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?"

My friend replied, "I couldn't swim."

He got the job.

Honey, I blew up myself…

Wow, I can't believe it. For the last 2 days, I've actually done something very, very close to work ! If you can call attending orientation work, and preparing for training (today), then I've finally begun to earn my paycheck !!

In other news, I regret to announce that I have put on weight again. Putting on one of my favourite shirts last week, and finding out that it was too small was a painful experience. My wife refuses to believe that the shirt has shrunk, so the only logical explanation is that I've gained weight. now, I have only6 shirts that look 'semi-presentable' on me that I can wear to work. Which means I have to make my first ever trip to High and Mighty.

But the dilemna is that, since I've decided to try and lose weight, the shirts I end up buying will be too small for me in a few months or so. So is it going to be a waste?

Anyway, I'm a bit depressed about the weight thing, my long commute means that going to the gym is not exactly easy, we've got a gym in my office, but until we move closer to work, and I get a car, then it won't be workable.....

Buying a car, another thing that's depressing me.....but that's another rant for another day.

Honey, I blew up myself….

Wow, I can't believe it. For the last 2 days, I've actually done something very, very close to work ! If you can call attending orientation work, and preparing for training (today), then I've finally begun to earn my paycheck !!

In other news, I regret to announce that I have put on weight again. Putting on one of my favourite shirts last week, and finding out that it was too small was a painful experience. My wife refuses to believe that the shirt has shrunk, so the only logical explanation is that I've gained weight. now, I have only6 shirts that look 'semi-presentable' on me that I can wear to work. Which means I have to make my first ever trip to High and Mighty.

But the dilemna is that, since I've decided to try and lose weight, the shirts I end up buying will be too small for me in a few months or so. So is it going to be a waste?

Anyway, I'm a bit depressed about the weight thing, my long commute means that going to the gym is not exactly easy, we've got a gym in my office, but until we move closer to work, and I get a car, then it won't be workable.....

Buying a car, another thing that's depressing me.....but that's another rant for another day.

13.5.06

Hero of the hour….

Stevie G
Need I say more?

Hero of the hour !!



Need I say more?

Cheap Alert !!

Project Gotham Racing 2- Normally £10
12 months XBox Live subscription - Normally £40
Xbox Live Arcade


So I'm guessing £24.99 for all of the above is a real bargain !! Plus free delivery.


Grab it while it's hot !!

Cheap Alert

Project Gotham Racing 2- Normally �10
12 months XBox Live subscription - Normally �40
Xbox Live Arcade

So I'm guessing �24.99 for all of the above is a real bargain !! Plus free delivery.

Grab it while it's hot !!

11.5.06

Because I’m a man…..

 Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car,  I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling  AA is not an option. I will win.
________________________

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't  running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I  know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the  other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these  computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink  a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy  communion.
_______________________________________________

Because  I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care  of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick  as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic  groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find  exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
_______________________________________________

Because  I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking  it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once  the repair person gets here and has to put it back  together.
_______________________________________________

Because  I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch  TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for  it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a  calculator.....(applies to engineers  mainly).
_______________________________________________________

Because  I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up  something else when you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm  a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to.  Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see  it.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm  a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're  crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous  afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend  it to  others.
_______________________________________________

Because  I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With  the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
_______________________________________________

Because I'm  a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the  housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... like wandering around  in the garden with a beer wondering what to  do.
______________________________________________

This has been  a public service message for women to better understand men.

Because I’m a man….

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AA is not an option. I will win.
________________________

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....(applies to engineers mainly).
_______________________________________________________

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
______________________________________________

This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.

10.5.06

The Audition

went pretty well. There's a good chance I'll be 'retained', but we have to wait and see. I was pretty lazy about the whole thing, but they pushed me, hard. When asked to sing at the highest possible note I could, I didn't make much effort, and got told, "You know, I think you can hit that note, in fact, I think you can go much higher". So I tried it. And I did it. Well, we'll have to wait and see what the final decision is.

On the other hand, my plans to move house are in dissarray. I had my heart set on moving to Feltham in West London, but an aunt came round yesterday and said that people around there are racist, and now, my wife doesn't want to hear anything about it, we're not moving to Feltham. So I have to figure out somewhere in West London which is both affordable and non-racist, and do this in the next month or so. Any ideas?

The Audition….

went pretty well. There's a good chance I'll be 'retained', but we have to wait and see. I was pretty lazy about the whole thing, but they pushed me, hard. When asked to sing at the highest possible note I could, I didn't make much effort, and got told, "You know, I think you can hit that note, in fact, I think you can go much higher". So I tried it. And I did it. Well, we'll have to wait and see what the final decision is.

On the other hand, my plans to move house are in dissarray. I had my heart set on moving to Feltham in West London, but an aunt came round yesterday and said that people around there are racist, and now, my wife doesn't want to hear anything about it, we're not moving to Feltham. So I have to figure out somewhere in West London which is both affordable and non-racist, and do this in the next month or so. Any ideas?

9.5.06

I love my job…………………..

Love my job

I love my job.......

I love my job.........

Day of reckoning

About a month after I came to London in June 2004, I've been a member of my choir in church. It's been fun most of the time, I've met loads of great people, and a large part of my social life has been based around the choir. Well, all that seems to be about to change.

The choir has been through a lot of change for about a year now, and meetings went from being weekly, to monthly, to every few months. And now, they havbe decided to reduce the number of members from something like 300 to significantly less. Which means every single one of us is going to have to re-audition. My audition is tonight.

Somewhere deep down, I feel like my time with the choir is over. And while I will miss being a part of the team, it may not be such a bad idea. With a baby on the way, I will have time to concentrate on my new family, and spend quality time with my wife. My new job will continue to demand more and more of my time, apart from the four hours a day I spend on trains. And I have slowly begun to build a social circle outside church, albeit, it's mainly my Nigerian friends who have moved over to the UK. And now, I've got more and more stuff to do, with work, and other commitments, and free time is very precious.

I've had some good times though. Singing with the choir on XFactor in 2004. Singing with Xfactor winner Steve Brookstein on Top of the Pops. Being featured on BBC's Songs of Praise. And every single friend I made in the team.

I'm talking like it's all over already !! I've got a song to learn for the audition, but if they ask me directly if I want to be a part of the team, I'm going to say no.

Day of reckoning

About a month after I came to London in June 2004, I've been a member of my choir in church. It's been fun most of the time, I've met loads of great people, and a large part of my social life has been based around the choir. Well, all that seems to be about to change.

The choir has been through a lot of change for about a year now, and meetings went from being weekly, to monthly, to every few months. And now, they havbe decided to reduce the number of members from something like 300 to significantly less. Which means every single one of us is going to have to re-audition. My audition is tonight.

Somewhere deep down, I feel like my time with the choir is over. And while I will miss being a part of the team, it may not be such a bad idea. With a baby on the way, I will have time to concentrate on my new family, and spend quality time with my wife. My new job will continue to demand more and more of my time, apart from the four hours a day I spend on trains. And I have slowly begun to build a social circle outside church, albeit, it's mainly my Nigerian friends who have moved over to the UK. And now, I've got more and more stuff to do, with work, and other commitments, and free time is very precious.

I've had some good times though. Singing with the choir on XFactor in 2004. Singing with Xfactor winner Steve Brookstein on Top of the Pops. Being featured on BBC's Songs of Praise. And every single friend I made in the team.

I'm talking like it's all over already !! I've got a song to learn for the audition, but if they ask me directly if I want to be a part of the team, I'm going to say no.

8.5.06

Warning, not politically correct

Blackman

FOUL PLAY

Arsenal needed to win, but that wouldn't have been enough. They also needed Totenham to lose or draw.

So when the Totenham team all gets food poisoning the night before the biggest match of their season, and can't get the match postponed, then I suspect foul play. I'm not saying that Arsenal FC was involved, but it could have been an overzealous Arsenal fan working at the hotel, who saw a 'golden opportunity'.

While the police are looking into the incident, they are not investigating it (which as far as I'm concerned is pretty confusing!) as no allegations have been made. . But if they find that there was foul play involved, Arsenal should be banned from European football or something.

The weekend…..

went so fast, I barely had time to catch my breath !! My brother came over from the USA on Thursday, although he went to Glousecester on Friday, and only came back to mine yesterday.

On Saturday, I woke up at 9am, which for me, was a massive effort. I strongly believe that Saturday was designed for sleep and sleep alone, and have been found sleeping till middady on occasions. Anyway, I had a 2 hour driving lesson from about 10.30am, then I got home, had 'brunch', then went off to have an eye test. Everything is in order with the eyes, but my new job requires me to have an eye test every two years, last time I had one was 10 years ago.........After all this, it was 5 o'clock already !! Got home, sorted out a little shopping and took some trousers for altering, and found myself ironing till midnight, and then doing the dishes till 2 am.....and that's it, Saturday was gone just like that.

Yesterday, went to church, then my brother, wife and I had lunch, before we (my wife not included) went to catch the Arsenal-Wigan match. Then it was visiting an aunt before finally getting home around 8.45pm, and that was my 'restful' weekend up in smoke !!

Good to see my brother though, haven't seen him since 2002, so it was really good to catch up !!

FOUL !!

Arsenal needed to win, but that wouldn't have been enough. They also needed Totenham to lose or draw.

So when the Totenham team all gets food poisoning the night before the biggest match of their season, and can't get the match postponed, then I suspect foul play. I'm not saying that Arsenal FC was involved, but it could have been an overzealous Arsenal fan working at the hotel, who saw a 'golden opportunity'.

While the police are looking into the incident, they are not investigating it (which as far as I'm concerned is pretty confusing!) as no allegations have been made. . But if they find that there was foul play involved, Arsenal should be banned from European football or something.

The Weekend…

went so fast, I barely had time to catch my breath !! My brother came over from the USA on Thursday, although he went to Glousecester on Friday, and only came back to mine yesterday.

On Saturday, I woke up at 9am, which for me, was a massive effort. I strongly believe that Saturday was designed for sleep and sleep alone, and have been found sleeping till middady on occasions. Anyway, I had a 2 hour driving lesson from about 10.30am, then I got home, had 'brunch', then went off to have an eye test. Everything is in order with the eyes, but my new job requires me to have an eye test every two years, last time I had one was 10 years ago.........After all this, it was 5 o'clock already !! Got home, sorted out a little shopping and took some trousers for altering, and found myself ironing till midnight, and then doing the dishes till 2 am.....and that's it, Saturday was gone just like that.

Yesterday, went to church, then my brother, wife and I had lunch, before we (my wife not included) went to catch the Arsenal-Wigan match. Then it was visiting an aunt before finally getting home around 8.45pm, and that was my 'restful' weekend up in smoke !!

Good to see my brother though, haven't seen him since 2002, so it was really good to catch up !!

4.5.06

I’ve only been here a few days….

and I've already been spammed !!

Bloody spammers…

Been on the new blog site for a few days (I'm currently double blogging), and I've already been hit by a spammer !!

3.5.06

English Signs Abroad

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort.

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

English Signs Abroad

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort.

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

If you can’t win the game, then change the rules

Over here in the UK, the entire political esthablishment is in turmoil ahead of a local government election tomorrow. The Home Office is in chaos, over the release of foreign prisoners without considering them for deportation, and now, it has emerged that a few of them have reoffended since being released. The Deputy Prime minister was caught with his trousers down, and is now invovled in a kiss and tell battle with his secretary, with whom he had a 2 year affair. And finally, as the NHS seems to be falling to pieces, The Health minister and the Prime Minister want us to believe that things have never been better. All this has led to many asking Mr. Blair to stand down. Tomorrow's election results will go a long way in deciding how long he has left.

But for political drama, I'll have to say my home country Nigeria beats the UK hands down. Next year, Nigerians will go to the polls to decide on their president. Who is going to stand in that election is the subject of the most intense debate and politiking seen on this planet. Well, this picture of a 'debate' in the House of Representatives sums up what is happening Nationwide.

 
3rd term.jpg



The third term debate in the House of Representatives yesterday turned into a fist fight

 

In 1999, Olusegun Obasanjo took over as president of Nigeria. The first civilian president since 1983. At the end of his first term, he won another election in 2003, however, this election was marred by serious allegations of electoral fraud. However, as it was to be his final term in office, all allegations have since died down, with politicians looking to 2007. Well, from about last year, there have been moves in the political class to change the constitution, to allow a president to run for 3 terms instead of 2. And while President Obasanjo has not publicly stated that he is interested in running for a third term, it is becoming clearer with each passing day that he is behind the moves to change the constitution and rule the country for another 4 years.


 
3rd term 2.jpg

Demola Yaya (center) was arrested for carrying an anti-third term placard at the Workers' Day celebration in Abuja. Several politicians who have been arrested or targeted for corruption have alledged that their refusal to support Obasanjo's third term bid is the reason behind their persecution 

 

Almost every Nigerian you meet is against the third term agenda. The political class however is divided. A lot of politicians are against it, although with most of them, you have to question their motives, as they are all looking to run for office, and know that if Obasanjo runs again, this will harm their chances. The Vice President, Atiku Abubakar has publicly stated that he is against the moves, and is accusing the president of wanting to remain in power for life. However, power to change the constitution lies in the hands of the senate, and several of them are backing the move, and it looks like the constitution will be changed.


So why don't people allow this to happen and vote against Obasanjo in the election next year? Well:


1. If he gets to run, he's going to win the election. In Nigeria, elections aren't won by the people with the most votes, you have to 'out-rig'(i.e. chet) the other person to win. And when it comes to cheating, Obasanjo's PDP (People's Democratic Party) have no rivals. so if he runs, he will win. End of story.


2. This will set a very dangerous precendent. Like Obasanjo, most of Nigeria's top politicians have actually ruled the country before, as military dictators. In the last election, he ran against General Buhari, who ruled Nigeria from 1983-1985. Next year's election is going to be contested by General IB Babangida, who ruled Nigeria from 1985 till 1992, and Col. B. Marwa, who has been military governor of 2 states in the country. If Obasanjo is seen to manipulate the political process for his own benefits, then whenever he decides to leave, any one of these people will finally get into office, and who knows what they'll do? Babangida was responsible for plunging Nigeria into debt, and it was under him that corruption became institutionalised, Nigeria has previously been ranked as the second most corrupt country in the world. Marwa stole BILLIONS while he was governor of Lagos State, Nigeria's commercial capital. The mere fact that these two morons can actually think about running for political office is despicable, but the truth is that they have a real chance of winning, which is just sad, and shows how impotent the political process in Nigeria is. He who pays the piper dictates the tune. And the richest men in Nigeria are our former military rulers who have amassed vast amounts of 'public wealth'.


To be fair, Obasanjo has done a brilliant job. He has tackled corruption bravely, and has gone a long way in winning the battle against thieving public officials. Nigeria has become the first African nation to become debt free. There is massive foreign investment, jobs are being created and while there is a long way to go, people are beginning to believe in Nigeria again. And to be fair, I don't think there is anyone to take over from Obasanjo and continue the reform of the nation.


But all this could tarnish his image and destory his legacy. Obasanjo should respect the rule of law, and retire in 2007. He will be known as the forst military leader to hand over power to an elected government (1976), the first man to rule Nigeria twice, and the man who began the revolution that changed changed the country(hopefully). If he continues down this road, not only will he drag his name into the mud, he may destroy the country altogether, as this matter is beginning to have ethnic and religious implications, and is beginning to look like a battle of the Christian South versus the Muslim North. To me, that spells only one thing, civil war.


My heart bleeds.

2.5.06

Baby Update

OK, Sunshine Chick, here is the baby update you were after. Went to the hospital for the 2nd scan today, only to realise how totally useless the NHS is. My wife had to do a repeat blood test because some plonker forgot to label the bottle from the one she did a couple of weeks ago. After waiting for 3 hours for the blood test, we went to wait for the scan, only to be told that the midwife hadn't filled out the correct paperwork !! Anyway, we finally went in for the scan, hoping to find out if we were having a boy or a girl.

Just our luck, while we're 20 weeks along, it's a bit to early to see the baby's heart or determine the sex, the ultrasound pictures were really blurry. We had to book another appointment for 3 weeks time, when hopefully all will be made known. Sadly, I'm most likely to miss this one, as I'm not sure I can get a day off. So I'm going to have to sit by the phone, and hear the news. I'm so gutted.

Baby Update

OK, Sunshine Chick, here is the baby update you were after. Went to the hospital for the 2nd scan today, only to realise how totally useless the NHS is. My wife had to do a repeat blood test because some plonker forgot to label the bottle from the one she did a couple of weeks ago. After waiting for 3 hours for the blood test, we went to wait for the scan, only to be told that the midwife hadn't filled out the correct paperwork !! Anyway, we finally went in for the scan, hoping to find out if we were having a boy or a girl.

Just our luck, while we're 20 weeks along, it's a bit to early to see the baby's heart or determine the sex, the ultrasound pictures were really blurry. We had to book another appointment for 3 weeks time, when hopefully all will be made known. Sadly, I'm most likely to miss this one, as I'm not sure I can get a day off. So I'm going to have to sit by the phone, and hear the news. I'm so gutted.

Strict Curfews

A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot.

However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm.

"Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer.

"I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."

Strict Curfews

A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot.

However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm.

"Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer.

"I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."

1.5.06

Ain’t that the truth…..

Cemetery

We’re ready to go !!!

OK, after a few days of experimentation, tweaking and banging my head on my monitor, I think this blog is now ready for use. So this is going to be my first official post. I'm still getting used to the Wordpress world, but so far, so good.

It would be criminal for me not to mention the person who helped me set up this blog, sorted out the hosting and was on the other end of Yahoo Messenger when I needed help.

Kayode, thanks a million. You're a legend !!