30.1.06

The Lord’s prayer

PLEASE NOTE: this joke is not 'theologically correct'. Hopefully, this humorous re-working of the Lord's Prayer will be taken in the light-hearted spirit it's meant.


Our Fowler
Thou art is scoring
Robbie be thy name
Thy transfer has

On a free as it is in January
Give us this day our favourite

Alonso will give you the best passes
As Carra stops those who pass

Deliver us the title
And lead us not into relegation
For

Forever and ever
Our man

26.1.06

Damn

Just found out I have to work on Saturday.

Shoot me now.

Back at work….

Don't you just hate when you get back to work and....

1. Someone's moved all your stuff around, and my drawers are now in the post room?
2. There's been a lot of work done, and it'll take me weeks to catch up?
3. I just can't motivate myself today......

It's gonna be a great day.....

24.1.06

All is good….

So many things are happening in my life right now, unfortunately, I can't post all of them right now, but I should have some good news on Monday at least. One of the google ads on THIS BLOG has changed my life !! I'm so happy right now, it's unbelievable !

I took a few days off to recover from my exam, and I'm already tired of missing work, how sad am I? But's it's been good to relax and do nothing for a while....

And I've been laughing all morning.

You see, someone sent me a link to a video clip that has had me in stiches.

If you're a man who likes his video games, or a woman who loves such a man, click here.

And listen carefully. Even if you're not one of the above, click anyway. It's really FUNNY.

22.1.06

How do you….

dominate a match for 90 minutes, and then LOSE?

How?

Now, I have to suffer all the horrible phone calls from the Man U fans? How could you guys do this to me?

18.1.06

Champions of Europe - An Everton fan’s perspective

The year is 2007 and little bluenose Duncan is talking to his bluenose Dad.

SON: Dad, my mates in school told me that Liverpool won the Champions League in 2005 for the fifth time - are they right?

DAD: Yes son. It's true but they were dead lucky son, all the way through the tournament.

SON: Why dad?

DAD: Well, in the group stages.............

SON: What dad, did they have a team from Azerbaijan, Israel, and Ireland in their group?

DAD: Well no, they had Monaco, Deportiva La Coruna and Olympiakos.

SON: Well they still sound like three easy teams to me Dad...............

DAD: Actually, Monaco reached the final the year before, Olympiakos had won their league seven times out of the previous eight seasons and Deportivo finished above the Galacticos of Real Madrid in their league.

SON: Jeez Dad, that sounds like quite a difficult group then?

DAD: Yes I suppose you're right, son, but they were still lucky, it took a jammy shot from Gerrard against Olympiakos to get them through.

SON: Is that the goal where your hero Andy Gray shouts: "You beauty, you beauty, what a hit son, what a hit"?

DAD: Yes son, it is.

SON: Oh, okay. Well, what happened in the last 16 Dad, who did they draw?

DAD: Bayer Leverkusen.

SON: Bayer who?

DAD: Exactly son, but they had beaten Real Madrid 3-0 at home, and won their group that included Dianamo Kiev and Roma too.

SON: Bloo*y hell Dad, they sound good?

DAD: Yes I suppose you're right son.

SON: So, did they win on away goals or something?

DAD: Errrrr no, they won both legs 3-1.

SON: Oh well, who did they get next Dad?

DAD: Juventus.

SON: How the hell did they get past them Dad?

DAD: Well they did, they won 2-1 at home, and cruised to a 0-0 away draw with Juve hardly having a chance.

SON: Were Juve cr*p at that time, had all their decent players gone or something?

DAD: Well actually, they still had players like Del Piero, Nedved, Ibrahimovic, Thuram and Buffon in the side. And they won Serie A a few weeks later.

SON: Wow, they beat the Italian champions elect, which dead easy team did they get in the semi then?

DAD: Chelsea.

SON: Chelsea- oh for God's sake - what an easy draw - they've won nothing. Everton have won more than them.

DAD: Well that season they won the Premiership and League Cup but the red s**** didn't let them score in 180 minutes of football.

SON: I don't believe it - so Liverpool beat the English champions elect too?

DAD: Yes son they bloo*y well did.

SON: So after that all the decent teams must have been knocked out.

DAD: Not quite son, AC Milan awaited them in the final.

SON: No way - aren't they the second most successful team in the competition?

DAD: Yes son they are.

SON: So were Liverpool lucky because Milan had all their players out with injuries?

DAD: No - they had Shevchenko, Crespo, Maldini, Nesta, cafu, Kaka, Stam, Dida, Gatusso, Pirlo and Seedorf.

SON: You're avin a laff!

DAD: It get's worse son! Milan were cruising 3-0 at half time.....

SON: What happened? Did they have three men sent off in the second half - how did Liverpool get back into the game?

DAD: No, Milan had no men sent off, the Red s**** scored 3 goals in 6 minutes!

SON: Against the best defence in Europe?

DAD: Yes against the best defence in Europe.

SON: So what happened next. Extra time?

DAD: Yes son, and Dudek made the luckiest save ever to stop a Shevchenko shot from a yard.

SON: Why was it lucky dad, did it hit him on the bum, nose, shoulder or something?

DAD: No son, his hand........

SON: Well, aren't goalies meant to save shots with their hands?

DAD: Yes but that's besides the point!

SON: Then what........

DAD: Penalties!

SON: English teams are cr*p at penalties.

DAD: Not this time they weren't - they only missed one. And that's how Liverpool became the luckiest team to win the Champions League.

SON: But I bet when they brought the cup home there was hardly anyone to watch as all Liverpool fans live anywhere but Liverpool you say, and most of them would have been traveling back. How many were there, 5,000 or so?

DAD: No son, one MILLION people lined the streets.

SON: So let's get this right Dad.

Liverpool had three good teams in their group, they then knocked out a team that had beaten Real Madrid 3-0, they then knocked out the future Serie A champions, then knocked out the future Premiership champions, before coming back
from 3-0 down to beat the second most successful club in Europe. All this with only one fit forward through the knockout stages and he wasn't scoring goals. And then the whole population of Liverpool came out to welcome them home?


DAD: That about sums it up son.

SON: Dad?

DAD: Yes son.

SON: Can I have a Liverpool shirt for my birthday next week, and can you stop calling me Duncan- I'm Stevie from now on.

14.1.06

I’m so cheap

Sales guy: Mr. Boso, I was wondering if you can attend this seminar on Intrusion Prevention Systems I'm running next week?

Boso: Next week? I'm sorry, I'm off work that day to take an exam?

Sales guy: Are you sure? There's an afternoon session you could attend after your exam.

Boso: Yeah, but I think I'll want to rest then.....

Sales guy: there's free food

Boso: I'll be there........

Oh dear...

My mission (if I choose to accept it)………

is to have a few more letters after my name by this time next week.

I have to :

1. Resist the lure of the Xbox
2. Resist the lure of the PSP
3. Not fall asleep while studying (3 times and counting, including last night)
4. Not watch (too much) TV

Here we go, wish me luck guys.....!!

13.1.06

11:51am Friday the 13th 2006

The moment I finally turned on the PSP and played a game.......Pro Evo Soccer, not exactly the Xbox version, but it's brilliant none the less !!

One more game, and I'll get back to studying (honest).

Today…..

I'm working in our Redhill office, which means that I have more than
enough time to study, as things are generally very slow around here.

Since I realised I would do a lot more studying than usual, I brought
the PSP along today :) I might play a bit on the train home, or at
lunchtime....

C'mon, you've all heard the old saying, "All work and no play makes Boso a dull boy"............

10.1.06

My latest toy……….

It's been a while since I've posted in the boy's toys category, so I knew this would have to be a big one. Well, yesterday, courtesy of some good fortune and generousity....Boso is now the proud owner of a





.................PSP.

With 3 games as well:







OOOOOOOh yes.....

Now all I have to do is make sure I don't play it till I do my exams next week. I managed to get through last night with putting it all together, setting up the network access, but not playing any games. I've kept it in a safe place, and do not intend to touch it till I've done my exams.

Fingers crossed....

5.1.06

Sore head…

Yesterday, I joked about forgetting to go to work today......if I only knew.

I've had a splitting headache since late yesterday afternnon, a slight fever and apparently, it's all caused by the boil on my arse.

So I'm at home feeling sorry for myself, I can't even watch TV !! I've lost 2 study days, and my exams are getting closer and closer.

4.1.06

Yesterday…

Wedding ring

Last week......watch.

Today, I forgot my phone at home.

Tomorrow....I'm going to forget to come to work.

And to cheer myself up, here's a picture my friend and I took a week ago. If only we had looked behind us, the background was...........well, make up your own mind.

3.1.06

SHOCK !! HORROR !!!

I forgot to wear my wedding ring this morning. Oh dear...

Over the weekend, I watched 12 episodes of 24 season 4. Just 12 more to go. Which is good, expcept that I've got an exam in about 2 weeks. And I should have been studying, not watching TV/playing Xbox till 3am every night. I'm in trouble...........

Happy New year all !!

My New Year resolution is to have my full driver's license before July. (I've decided to do realistic stuff now, so all you people are think I should lose weight.........BUGGER OFF)