8.1.05

Three computer illerates…very confused people

Once I went on site to set up a computer for a school. I spend several hours setting up the equipment and configuring all the software and checking the Internet connection. When I left, everything was working perfectly.

The next morning, I got a call from the teacher, saying that the computer wouldn't turn on. Perplexed, I paid another visit. I sat down at the desk and looked at each component: the scanner was on, the monitor was on, the speakers were powered up, but the screen was blank. I looked under the desk, and, sure enough, none of the lights on the face of the computer were lit. I reached down, pushed the main power button, and the computer immediately came to life and booted up normally.

* Me: "Why didn't you try that?"
* Customer: "The light on the brain was on...."
She was pointing to the speakers.

* Student: "Hey, how do I lodge in to Hotmail?"
* Me: "You've got to type in your username and password in those fields that say 'username' and 'password'."
* Student: "I don't have one of those."
* Me: "You need one to log in to Hotmail."
* Student: "It's 'LODGE' in."
* Me: "The term is 'log in,' and you can't log in without a username and password. I can help you create one if you'd like."
* Student: "Um, excuse me, but I THINK I know what I'm talking about. It's LODGE in, and I don't want a username and password, I just want to get some email!"

I just went back to working after that, and he left complaining about how "crappy" the computers in the lab were, after trying to "lodge in" for ten more minutes.

I received a call from a woman. She had been told in a previous call that her computer was infected by a trojan virus and wanted to know where to begin disinfecting the computer. I asked her what software she was using, but she sounded a little confused. After a few minutes, I learned that she had dismantled her computer and was preparing to wipe everything down with Lysol, a disinfecting cleaner.

It took me another minute to compose myself and try to tell her to stop before she ruined her computer. I don't know if she did, as I never heard from her again -- and it took me ten minutes to stop laughing.

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