Hiring Slogans (And what they really mean)

Beware of Companies With These Hiring Slogans:

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some each night and some each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.

Work, work and guess what? More work !!

I'm working till pretty late again tonight. They're renovating our office to creat more desk space, and as the IT guy, I need to surpervise the cabling, which is a pain ! I have received assurance that the job will be completed before Christmas, which is good.

I'll also be required to come in for the next 2 Saturdays, but I'll be given a day and half holidays in lieu for each one, which is brilliant. I've got 12 more days off till May next year, and with the extra 3, I can take the 2 days off in December, and start next year with 13 days !! Sounds like a plan.

I have to say I am very dissapointed with FIFA 2005 on the Xbox. It's not as fluid and as playable as I'd have liked, and the season mode doesn't have the FA cup, Champs League, etc. The last one I've played was 2003 on the PC, and all that was in it. Or is it just missing on the Xbox version. I'm not a happy camper. Should have gone for Pro Evo Soccer 4. But then, I got this one for £5, so it's not that bad. Maybe I'll flog in on Ebay and get Pro Evo then....now that sounds like a plan !!


there is such a thing as a free lunch !!

I had a free 6' subway sandwich today and a cookie and soft drink too !! nice. My favourite lunch for free !!

Just found out that I'll be working for the next 2 weekends. Not good. However, I will be getting a day off in lieu, so I'm planning to take the 22nd and the 23rd off, 24th is already a holiday in our office, so I won't go back to work for a whole week !!

Anyways, I need to play my Xbox now......good night !!

Perfect Deaths

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple; and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Question: Who was the survivor?

Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke. Men keep scrolling. ****

So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

*** Men keep scrolling ****

By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.

Pussy Cat

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway!

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out of the car and quickly headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat again!

He kept taking the cat further and further away but the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive quite a few miles away--so he turned right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Hon, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Can you please put him on the phone? I'm lost and need directions"


BBC Songs of Praise - Hillsong Church

I wasn't home, but I set my video to record. I like the way the show came out, and I think the church was potrayed in a good way. I just hope it helps people to see that going to church doesn't make you a stiff-necked, upright, holier-than-thou git !!

There were a few close up shots of me, and to be honest, I was glad it wasn't more than a few. I don't like the way I look on TV. I need to lose weight. FAST.

Anyways, time for me to break my Xbox in. Good night people.

SWEET !!!!!!!!

Liverpool 2 Arsenal 1

Nuff said?

What a game !! Liverpool surpassed all my expectation, as they raised their game to beat the champions. I didn't see the matc, as I took my girlfriend out to lunch, but nothing will make me miss Match of the day tonight.

UPDATE:(After seeing the highlights on Match of the Day) Mellor has come into his own. He was simply brilliant tonight, and deserved to score his first premiership goal. In fact, the way he took it, it's hard to believe that's only his second senior goal. I think we are to see good things from this young lad, and this injury 'crisis' may actually give him a chance to prove himself.

GO REDS !! Now, let's try and make sure we move above Everton !!


Is something wrong with Diouf? Why does he go about spitting at everyone? It's disgraceful behaviour, and this is the 3rd time he's done this publicly. I'm glad Liverpool loaned him out, he should be gotten rid of ASAP. I'm DIGUSTED.

Liverpool play Arsenal tomorrow, thankfully, I'll be in church. I don't see how we'll score with no good strikers. I just don't see it happening. I predict a defeat, and I just hope it's not a bad one !!


Xbox vs. Playstation 2 : The final chapter

OK, this is the last time I'm going to talk about this, promise.



Better Processor, hence better graphics
Halo 2 (Not available on PS2)
Even though Microsoft plans to release the Xbox2 in 2006 ,many people believe that this is not necessary, as the Xbox has not yet been used to it's full capabilities


To play online, I'll require a credit card, which, due to a bad credit rating, I don't have.
A lot of the games on the Xbox were originally designed for the PS2, so the Xbox game designers did not put as much effort, and hence, some games end up being better on the PS2.

Playstation 2


More games are available
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is not available on any other platform
Online play is free.
It looks BEAUTIFUL !


Will be replaced by the PS3 next year
Requires the purchase of a memory card to save games.

With all this in mind, I BOUGHT MY XBOX YESTERDAY. Can't really afford it right now, and I'm sure that in 2 weeks time, when I'm dying of hunger, I'll regret my actions. However, being the bargain hunter that I am.....I had my eye on several deals, and wanted to get everything before Xmas shopping starts, and the shops will either cancel the deals, or be out of stock.


Xbox + FIFA 2005 = £104.95 (HMV - Saving of £35)
Halo 2 + Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow = £39.99 (Dixons - Saving of £40)
Grand Theft Auto Twin pack = £39.99 (Argos)

So that's it. Each and every single purchase I made was the last item in stock in every shop I went to !! Spooky eh?

The worst thing? I haven't been able to play it ! One of the disadvantages of being an adult is that you don't have anyone to do stuff for you, so I spent today shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing. After all that, I had to go to church, as I'm on choir duty this weekend. Tomorrow, I've got choir in the morning, and the girlfriend and I are going out after that. Also, somewhere in between all that, I have to watch TV, as my church will be featured on BBC1, on "Songs of Praise" at 5.15pm. I was sitting in the 2nd row in the audience, just behind the pastors, and I've seen some footage, and there are a few shots of me in a brown sweater. Watch out for me !!

Have a great weekend people !!


What a day…..

7.30am: Woke up an hour late. had to rush out of the house to get on my way to Dorking.

9.15am: Waterloo Station. 9.15 train cancelled. 9.45 train delayed.

10.30am: Train has been standing still for about 20 minutes. Apparently, there's a problem at Guildford.

11.30am: Get to Dorking. Can't figure out what's wrong with the PC there. Call Dell. They can't either. Arrange for them to pick it up tomorrow. Wasted journey then !! Leave for London at 1.20pm, after the manager there buys me lunch (now how did he know I was broke?!)

1.49pm: walk into Dorking station, as the London train leaves. Have to wait till 2.19pm for the next one.

3pm(I think!): Back to London. CRISIS. Our ISP has sent a very stern worded email about us having a virus on our network. I defiantly disagree, but agree to scan every single PC with free tool from McAfee. Find tons of viruses, including Bagle, the culprit in question. To all Network Administrators out there, F-SECURE is CRAP. How could it allow so many viruses through? I'm not happy at all. Will look into moving to another anti-virus next February. One computer had 75 viruses !! Didn't have a minute's rest until I was sure every single PC was virus free (about 10 minutes ago).

6pm(Well 5.51pm if you wanna be exact): Leaving for choir practice. WHAT A DAY, eh?

In between belt holes…..

The last 2 weeks or so, my trousers have been falling off me. As I've been losing weight, I've been going down a few belt holes. However, evey now and then, you get to a point where you're 'in-between' belt holes, where one is a bit too tight, and the other is a bit too loose. So I assumed that was what was happening again, and ignored it. This morning however, I 'struggled' to try and get to the next hole, only to take off the belt and find out I was on the last hole !! It's official, my belt is too small for me !! I'm loosing weight !! Yay !!

I don't like weighing myself regularly, as when I find that I haven't lost any, I get dissapointed, so I'd rather this kind of stuff encourage me. So I'm using a brand new belt today. Well, not totally brand new. I bought it 2 years ago, and it was too small for me. but I kept it. For a day like today. And I'm on the 2nd hole on that one already !!


Silly me….

I should be sleeping. But I decided to try and play Unreal (just one game!) online, only to find that I need to download several MBs of addons for almost any server I tried to join. So I'm downloading them now in the background. So let me babble on a bit......

I decided to try out the Firefox web browser today, after reading a few rave reviews and an article on it on BBC News today. Basically, it's the main competitor to Internet Explorer, it's Open Source and it's GREAT. You can open different pages in tabs, and be on several pages at the same time. And it's imported all my cookies, passwords and faves from Internet Explorer !! I'm going to try out their email program soon.........so is this goodbye Microsoft? I've been a strong MS supporter for ages (As an Micorsoft Certified Systems Engineer, you'd expect that), but I may be beginning to sway..........

Harry Redknapp has resigned !! what a shame. He's one of the managers I actually respect. Maybe he should get the England job?

I love this statistics thing on 20Six. You can check which keywords people have put into search engines to get to your site. Last month, it was dominated with people searching for advice on Visa Applications, and Nigerians.

This time around, it's dominated by my one night on TV (X-Factor) and the pictures, and my mental arangle on whether to get the Xbox or the Playstation.

Key Phrases

xbox vs playstation94.1 %
boso83.6 %
funny pictures73.1 %
emlyn hughes jokes62.7 %
hillsong church london62.7 %
hillsong church52.2 %
x factor cassie pics41.8 %
perfect 1041.8 %
xbox vs playstation 231.3 %
funny baboon pictures31.3 %
Other phrases16474.8 %

Key words

221 different keywordsSearchPercent
x698.3 %
factor698.3 %
pictures465.5 %
cassie263.1 %
hillsong242.9 %
the232.7 %
pics212.5 %
funny202.4 %
xbox202.4 %
playstation172 %
Other words49259.4 %

Ah, Cassie......don't worry, it'll all work out !!

As for the Xbox vs. Playstaion 2, I've kinda decided to go for the Xbox(seduced by the Halo 2 ads on TV), but I still don't feel 100% confident. The new Playstation 2 simply looks STUNNING. Should buy the 'winning console' on December 17th. Advice anyone?


I'm completely exhausted. And I've got to be in Dorking early tomorrow morning. That's an extra hour and a half on my travel time.

So this would not be a good time to play Unreal, right? Right.

Good night all.

Open letter to George Bush from the new country of California

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East States, and the urban half of Ohio.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 PM EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then. God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addition, we're getting San Diego (sorry, that's just how it goes). But God is letting you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie Chicks).

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and antiwar. Speaking of war, we're goingto need all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in Fallujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have tons of kids
they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.

So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands, though. She IS from the South, right?)

Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with your own late night TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny show.)

We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.


The Nation of New California


no way….

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

What kind of blogger are you?

Dreams can come true….

Today, I had to go to Oxford Street, and I made a slight detour, to get a delicious Subway sandwich. As I stood in the queue, I wished there was a Subway closer to my office. The closest one is at Liverpool Street, which is a 20 minute walk !! I enjoyed my sandwich.

On my way to the gym, I was walking with someone, so I took a slighty different route. I've been cooking my own lunch (at home), so I don't go out much during my break. And I saw it. The subway logo.

I went closer.

And it's true. On Fenchurch Street. Opening on Monday the 29th. Free sandwiches on Monday. I CAN'T WAIT.

Gym went beautifully today. I did 13 minuutes on the treadmill without stopping, for the first time !! OK, I only did half of it at the speed the instructor asked me to use, but I'm still chuffed. All my other exercises went really well, and I think my fitness levels have actually improved !! YIPPEE !!

What a difference a year makes

Exactly a year ago, I was earning 25,000 naira (Equivalent of £100) a month, in a job I wasn't too happy in. All I had to look forward to was a year of national service earning 7500 naira a month. Things looked bleak, and everyday, I had to make an effort to get up, to even live life.

Today, I received my payslip, and it all seems like a distant memory. I'm in a great job, work with great people, earning REAL money (almost 15 times more, after tax!), living on my own in the greatest city in the world, I'm in a WONDERFUL church, I've got my FABULOUS girlfriend close by, and life is on the up. But I'm not one to forget where I come from.

I've got to thank:

My parents - who's money helped me get to the UK. Also for helping me out with my visa application
My girlfriend - who stuck with me through thick and thin.
My wonderful friends - Who've been there no matter what
Last but not least
GOD - for making it all possible. For having my back through it all, and for showing me the way.......

This crazy cyber world

What will they think of next?

Apparently, there's a beauty pageant, for digital women. Yup, digitally designed women. They do the catwalk and everything. Top prize is $5000 !!



bad day

1. Went to pick up my P45 from my last employer (finally!). Got back to the office, only to find that there's a mistake on it

2. I'm completely and utterly FLAT BROKE, as in ZERO. Till Friday.

3. I haven't received a single email today. Not one. I usually get about 2 an hour.

4. My MP3 player has gone dead again.

My desktop is reborn…..

Long live Liverpool......

We play Monaco tonight, and although Baros is injured, I've been an admirer of the lad since the first time I saw him play.

And now that I have freeview I can watch the match in the comfort of my room. Although, I want to go to the gym after work, so I might just catch the 2nd half.......


Back to Life !!

This morning, (well, it's 10 minutes past midnight, so maybe yesterday morning then), I picked up my CD/MP3 player which hasn't worked for over a month. And to my greatest surprise, it had miraculously comeback to life !! Yipeee !! I walked to the station this morning, instead of waiting for the bus, but I was listening to music, so it wasn't all bad. I missed my player so much.......

OK, going to bed now.....work tomorrow....Good night all...



OK, I've got a new wireless keyboard and mouse.

My table is so uncluttered with fewer cables running about.
It looks kinda cool in a nerdy way.

The keyboard and mouse need to have a direct line of path to the receiver. So after placing CDs and stuff in the way, you have to clear it up (Might help me keep my table tidy, but HEY !)
The response time when playing Unreal isn't very good. To play the game seriously, I'll need to revert to the wired keyboard and mouse.

But after spending £20 on the wireless keyboard and mouse, it would seem like such a waste !! I already have 2 keyboards, 1 Antivirus package, 1 USB Wireless Network Card, all barely used, all useless to me. Will flog off the USB Network Card on Ebay....but I can't go on like this !! And to top it up I'm SKINT.....

OK, on my way home......will decide what to do later.

The weekend….

Had a topsy-turvy kind of weekend:

Friday: Had to work till about 10pm! Got home very tired, as I went to the gym that evening as well.

Saturday: Woke up all sore. Had a converrsation with my girlfriend, which drove me over the edge, you know one of those ones where you swear you'll never speak to the person again? Well, I did my best, didn't talk to her for 29 hours ! Went to church in the evening to fill in for someone (Choir Duty). I decided to sponsor a child in Uganda at church through Compassion UK, and now I've 'adopted' Thembo Joshua. I've got his picture on my wall even. It's gonna cost me £18 a month, but I'm glad to be making a difference in someone's life.

On my way home, I got a text from someone who was at X-Factor. Cassie actually told her to say hi to me ! I was actually amazed she rememberred me !! I had decided to stop voting on X-Factor when I saw my last phone bill, but with this 'new information', I voted for Cassie right there at the bus stop. Twice. Only to get home and find out she got voted off. I was gutted. Really, really, gutted. And to make it worse, Liverpool lost to Boro.

Sunday: Woke up, and I decided to live like I didn't have a girlfriend for a week. The first few hours were great. I made plans without thinking about anyone else, I decided to go to the cinema with my flatmates, then changed my mind, and went a computer fair at Stratford.Spent £50, bought a wireless keyboard, memory for my PC, and an extension lead for the broadband router. With the extra memory, my PC is running like clockwork, and the extension lead meant I could place the wireless router on a higher shelf, and now, it seems that all my connection problems are gone. My next project will be getting better speakers for my PC, and a faster Wireless card, so I can get a 154 Mbps connection (right now, I'm on 54 Mbps). I also bought another game.

It was on sale for £10. would have bought the 2004 version, but my PC doesn't have a graphics card, and I had played this back in Nigeria, and knew it ran on average PCs quite well. Only, I had been playing Unreal Tournament 2003, Game of the Year Edition. Which is a completely different game. But this game looks like it will give me many hours of fun.

Played for less than 15 minutes. Put it aside. When the lovely girlfriend came on to Yahoo Messenger, I was too tempted, and ended up chatting with her. So it seems our mini-feud is over.

Work again tomorrow.....


Subject: Notice from Great Britain

To the citizens of the United States of America :

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are cr*p and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French; they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776)


Need Glasses?

Addiction has a new name

The earliest time I've gone to bed this week was last night. At 1am. I've been crawling around the office half awake for the whole of this week. Every night, I promise I won't do it again. My addiction is taking me to pieces. But last night, I was at it again.

Addiction is a terrible thing. It can destroy everything you hold dear. Don't let it get you !!

On the upside, I've played 10 matches, and Liverpool is sitting at the top of the premiership. Still a long way to go, but I've won over the fans, and hopefully this is going to be a superb season. I was born to do this job !! Last night, I had a cracking Champions League match, where Henchoz scored a 90th minute goal to give us all 3 points. When I get home tonight, my first match is a Champions League match with AC Milan. A match I need to win to cement my position as group leader.

All I can say is THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY !!


Not the best way to start the day…..

Got this email first thing this morning from one of the managers in the office, with regards to a project I just completed (Well, it's still kinda of onging, but it's almost complete):

I think that the communication and the way this has been implemented is shambolic.

{Your Boss} knows my thoughts and as I told him I will be bringing it up at the meeting on Monday.


I just noticed something

Something happened at the gym today that overshadowed the excitement and euphoria of my first unsupervised gym session. Something that made me stop and think....

After my workout, I went into the changing rooms. As I moved towards my locker, there was a guy dressing up, who made a hissing noise and gave me a really horrible look, and then packed all his stuff and went to dress up on the other side of the room. I was a bit puzzled, as the place he 'moved to' was even more crowded. Was I oozing body odour? Nope, but even if I was, it was a gym !! Then it hit me....

That look in his eyes, I had seen it before. And it all made sense. I looked round the dressing room. I was the only black person there. My mind went back to my entire time in the gym today....and there was no other black person in the gym. My mind went back even further in time to my previous 3 visits to the gym. And there were no black people either. Bugger. All of a sudden, I felt self-concious. I felt so different. I felt.....out of place.

In the city, most black people are security guards, or cleaners. So for a black city worker in a city gym, I guess it's new for some folk. In my office, I'm the only black person. Out of 60 people. But even on the other 3 or 4 offices in our building, I haven't seen any other black person who isn't a cleaner or security guard. But I've never felt out of place at work. Not once. I've been made to feel like one of the gang. As I walked out of the gym, and to the tube station, I kept an eye out. And for the entire 10 minute journey, I was the only black guy in sight........

I thought that there were a lot more black people in the city, but I guess I'm mistaken. There are a few Asians though.....4 in my office. A few in the gym even.

It's a shame that guy didn't want to dress up near me....Actually, maybe it's a good thing. I needed the space

Pit Falls

This particular man was taking a shortcut through the graveyard one dark night. That was a mistake, because the gravediggers had just opened a new site, in preparations for a funeral early the next morning.

The unfortunate man took a headlong plunge into the deep pit. It began to rain, and the sides became slippery, besides being deep. Try as he may (and he did again and again) he could not climb out. Finally he resigned himself to wait for the caretakers the next morning, and he settled into a corner.

Just before dawn another man, who had been "out on the town" all night and who was definitely inebriated, stumbled into the same grave. He yelped and started trying his best to get back topside.

After a few attempts, this deep voice from the corner said, "It's no use. You can't get out!"

But he did...


Gym tonight

One of the things I love about 20Six is the ability to blog by email. So I can blog at work, and everyone thinks I'm typing an email....how cool is that !!

Tonight will be my first unsupervised session in the gym. I'm a bit anxious.....but I hope it goes well. Was in two minds about going tonight, as someone is coming to speak at church that I would really like to hear, however, there are not going to be enough seats for everyone, so I'll do the honourable thing, and let someone else get a seat. (Or avoid getting there, and getting turned back at the door !) So let's see how it will go. It will also be my first FULL session, and should take 40 minutes in total (apart from waiting for free spaces on the machines).

Some people in the office have started taking bets on how long it will take for me to give up. They don't know me at all...................


OK, got my broadband working...well, to an extent. Unfortunately, the extension to my room that I painstakingly waited at home for on Thursday...is coated with aluminium which kills the ADSL signal. So the wireless router has to stay downstairs....in the basement. Not good. Signal is not exactly the best....but what can I do? Next month, I'll buy a better network card and see how it all pans out. But for now.....this is it. With the broadband, I have decided to do personal internet stuff at home now, and concentrate on work. My boss made a comment today, which I interpreted as me not pulling my weight. So that means that blogging will henceforth be a nocturnal activity.

So....I don't wanna make this post too long (cos that means no one will read it), so I'll summarise what I've been doing since Thursday:

Thursday: Didn't get to much. Worked with landlord to put a phone extension in my room (which sadly was a waste of time). Tackled the mountain of laundry in my room (washing and ironing). My dad was meant to come back from Paris, but he called at night to say he couldn't make it till Friday. That complicated our plans for Friday....meant to go to Glouscester to see my brother.

Friday: Tried to buy my PC at Currys. They were out of stock. Waited for dad to rest a little. Left home around 11am. Got to Swindon at 1.15....only to find we had missed our connecting train by 10 minutes. The next train was at 3.25 !! Great. Luckily my bro and his girlfriend drove down to Swindon to pick us up. We went out for a bite...got back, flat tyre. Long day. Got home around midnight.

Saturday: Good thing I didn't buy my PC at Currys. The spec at PC World was a lot better for a similar price.(This one has a DVD-RW! Bargain for £400). I was given a pack of empty CDs for free. Set it up, and tried to sort out the broadband. That didn't work. Tried and tried and tried. Couldn't figure it out.

Sunday: After reading the support pages of the ISP, I figured that the extension cable was at fault. Went to the source of the phone line in the basement and it worked !! However, it's a bit far from my room, and so it's not exactly ideal. But at least, I've got broadband at home.......

Monday: Back to work. It seems my boss has realised I'm struggling with my job, and he made a comment about sending me for training to make me more effective. My new aim is to try and read up as much as I can, so that I can show him I don't need training................maybe that will impress him. Impress the boss = Get a good review = PAY RISE in December 2005 (Hey, I like to plan ahead !)


Liverpool 3 Crystal Palace 2

All I'll say is this.

90 minutes played.

Game tied at 2-2.

Penalty awarded to Liverpool.

Up steps Baros.




It may only be Crystal Palace, but we're still doing ok. If we win our game in hand, we go 4th. Stevie G is doing well, and should be coming back soon, played some part in a reserve match tonight.However, it seems Dudek may be leaving soon, according to BBC Sport. I've always liked Kirkland, but with all his injuries.....we'll need a pretty good goalkeeper to cover for him.

Anyway, let's see what happens. Next stop...Boro on Saturday. Let's go get them !!


Lock up your daughters (It’s my day off tomorrow) !!

It's been mad today. I've been running around like a headless chicken since 8am. I've got a document to submit by 4pm that I haven't started working on yet. I've got to send out 2 emails to the entire company explaining some stuff I did last night. THANK GOD I'VE GOT THE REST OF THE WEEK OFF.

Just confirmed that I'm getting paid on Friday. So that means I buy my PC on Saturday. I have to go to the gym on Thursday or Saturday, will decide on that. Thursday: I've got a HEAP of laundry to so. Also, I should be doing an extension for the phone in my house for my room, and I've got a choir rehearsal at 7.30 pm. Friday: Got to go down to Gloucester with my dad to see my younger bro. Saturday: New PC. Need to set up broadband connection before my housemate eats my head off.

Back to the grind on Monday. So I guess I'll be doing limited blogging till Monday (well, till Sunday, when I get broadband!)..


It’s a beautiful day

My broadband will be activated on Friday. I'm off on Thursday and Friday, so I'll spend Thursday building a wireless network at home, I'm off to see my brother in Gloucester on Friday, and hopefully come back to a world of internet paradise on Saturday. Ah......

I've got a session with my personal trainer today. Today, we're doing weights, which I've never done before, and have no idea how it will go. Looking forward to it though. After today, I'll be 'unleashed' on the gym for 2 months, and will have a review done to see how much progress I've made. The target is for me to weigh 90kg by then...........

I'm off on Thursday and Friday, so I have a mountain of work to complete, so no one calls me on my days off. I want to forget that this office exists......

I've decided to buy a new PC. The one I 'have' at home, is an old one I picked up from the office, and it can't go wireless, and it doesn't have enought memory to play Football Manager 2005. I will be buying a new one in the next few months anyway, and will be stuck with 2 PCs in my very small room if I take the one in the office home. So I am playing with the idea of forking out £400 for the cheapest PC in Currys, and surviving on £200 or so for the rest of the month. All of this depends on me getting paid by my agency on friday.......

And now, I need to get some work done........see you all later !!



I've been paid !! (Well, for half of last month, but who's complaining?)

Have a GRREEEAT weekend people.....


Gym went well. My fitness instructor is a girl. Basically, we determined that I'm obese (tell me something I don't know). Infact, so obese, that on her BMI chart, I'm 'off the map' completely !! So the aim is to get me to 'overweight' in the next 2 months. (I bet you never thought you'd hear that). Also, my body mass is about 43.1% fat.

Went on the treadmill, exercise bike and walker for about 5 minutes each, as she watched me pant and almost break into tears. On my exercise program, I'll be doing about 13 minutes of each. I'll also need to do weights, so I have another session with her on Tuesday to work out a regime for that as well. I hope to go to the gym on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays(or Saturdays).

Went pretty well, looking forward to it. So the aim is to get me weighing 90kg by mid January. On the plus side, I've gone from 138kg (yes, I'm a heavy man, go figure) to 127kg with only dieting (1 month!), so this is pretty encouraging. This may yet turn out to be an exciting journey.I'm going to need a lot of motivation and dedication to do this....and I guess this blog will help in that respect.


In other (sad) news, my university has been shut indefinately, as a student was shot by police. Students were protesting the fact that their results for the last session had not yet been released (a normal occurence, believe me, I never saw my first semester Part I results till I was in Part III!!), and in the course of the 'peaceful protest', the Vice-Chancellor was beaten up pretty badly. Police were called in, and in the ensuing melee, a student was killed. Sad, sad news. Story is here.



Haven't blogged since Monday......

The money situation has gone from bad to worse. It looks like the earliest time I'll get any money is next Friday. And I've got just £47 in the bank now....with a credit card bill of about £10 coming in for next week. Things are tight, super tight. HELP..........

I saw the new Playstation2 at Currys on Monday, and it was love at first sight. It's so smalll, it's cute. It's like a fashion item now, the £99 price tag pays for the aesthetic value alone !! MUST BUY....but with my money all over the place, it's looking more and more unlikely, may have to wait till early next year. But with the Playstation 3 coming out in 2006, that might spell an upgrade in a few months.....but hey...who cares? And so dies my XBox dreams.........

I've got a one-2-one session at the gym today, where I'm going to be made to run till I drop. They'll take my blood presuure, etc...and come up with an exercise program for me. I hope I can run for about 30 seconds before I faint.....wouldn't want to look like a wuss.

and on the subject of the birthday that won't go away, had another small 'celebration' last night, at my choir lifegroup meeting.

And immediately after taking the picture, I FINALLY changed the date on the camera, and decide that stamping pictures with the date is not very smart, and it won't happen again.

Some family news just came in, and we (the family) are all trying to come to terms with it. It's a bit too personal to blog, so I won't.

And with that, I'm off to change for the gym..........


X-Factor (The best Birthday present ever!!)

I remember about two months ago, when I was trying to decide what to do on my birthday. As it fell on a Saturday, I wanted to do something memorable, but at the same time, something 'different'. Top of my list was taking a group of friends out for a paintballing session. Then along came X-Factor. And I got everything I wanted, a birthday I am not going to forget in a hurry, and it was certainly something different !! I had so much fun, and I'm really grateful for having to opportunity to take part in the show!!

It was a really long day, and I had to leave my house at about 6am...to get to Startford for 7am, where a friend picked me up, and we drove off to the studio. The first rehearsal was at 8.30am, and we got to meet the contestants for the first time. Then we had a short break, and some coffee/tea with the contestants mingling with us, and then a proper dress rehearsal at 2.30pm, where the judges (Simon Cowell, Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh took part). Then the show went live at 6pm.

It being my birthday, I got a birthday kiss from Cassie and she actually sat with my friend and I just before the show, which was pretty cool. She was really, really cool, and I got to see her in a complete nervous state (and she even tore her meal ticket into pieces!), just before going on the show.

Steve was another contestant that I connected with, and he's also a really, really great guy. While waiting for the results, I got to chat with 3 of the guys from G4. What I found was that all the contestants are just really nice people who enjoy singing and are loving the opportunity they've been handed, but they're simply just great people.......

Voices with Soul heard the choir singing and praying, and actually came into our dressing room to join us, and we prayed for them. They were really dissapointed with being in the bottom two last week, and getting through on the first attempt this week must have been a confidence booster.

Anyway, after the results show, we had drinks...and then home....got home at exactly 12.45 am !! What a great way to spend my birthday, eh?

However, my phone was off for most of the day, so I missed out on a lot of birthday calls, and I didn't get to spend the day with those that matter to me the most, but hey, if the queen can have an official birthday, then why can't I?!

Today, I have returned to life as an IT engineer.............talk about coming back down to earth. New Photblog with all the pics......Unfortunately, I had the wrong date on my camera......so from today, I'll stop putting the date on all my photos.....very embarassing, seeing as I have to send the pictures to loads of people. Anyway I've got 9 photos at www.20six.co.uk/boso2