23.9.04

Entertaining yourself in the workplace

Feeling bored in the workplace? Looking for something new and exciting to do?  Why not initiate an workplace dare system - Well read on.

One Point Workplace Dares

(1) Run one lap around the workplace at top speed.

(2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
(3) Ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you.

(4) Phone a work colleague you barely know, leave your name and say,  "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

(5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

(6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmm, that feels sooooooo good!"

(7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way. But thanks for noticing".

(8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

(9) While riding in the elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Three Point Workplace Dares

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him/her with double-barrelled fingers.

(2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all  that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

(3) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

(4) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

Five Point Workplace Dares

(1) At the end of a meeting suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

(2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing frustration, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

(3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

(4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."

(5) After every sentence say "mon" in a rally bad Jamaican accent.  As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

(6) While a colleague is out, move his or her chair into the elevator.

(7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

(8) At lunchtime get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

(9) In a colleague's calendar/planner write in: "10 am - See how I look in tights".

(10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

(11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that? "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

(12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why say, "I can't talk about it."

(13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

(14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.
(15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

(16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

(17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and cookie, smash each cookie with your fist.

(18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

(19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you . .

(1) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

(2) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask "Do you want fries with that?"

(3) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN".

(4) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

(5) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

(6) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

(7) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

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