13.2.04

Men Bashing jokes

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?

A: Shoot him again.

 

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: Because they're practicing to be men.

 

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

OR: Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

 

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

 

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

 

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?

A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.

 

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

 

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

 

Q: What is the difference between men and women?

A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

 

Q: How does a man keep his youth?

A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

 

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

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