Dedicated to all the Kaos (slang name for the Kamba tribe an African tribe of Kenyan origin, they are not best known for their high IQ)! Osa vinya Mukamba!! Do you have one in mind....Dedicate this to him/her.
A Kao is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
"Give me a green one, please."
A Kao calls KQ "How long does it take to fly to Machakos?"
"Just a second," says the rep.
"Thank you,"says the Kao and cuts the line.
A Kao was filling up an application form for a job. He filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected: After much thought he wrote :
A Kao proposes to a woman. She says, "Yes, if you'll bring me a pair of crocodile boots."
He sets off to Maasai Mara and disappears.
Finally a search team finds him hunting a huge crocodile.
He walks over to the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims,
"The 70th damn croc and this bugger is also barefeet!"
A Kao goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos."
The Kao then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Kao says, "I'll take one!"
The next day, he walks into the office with his new thermos.
His boss asks, "Wow, you have a Thermos! What do you have in it?"
The Kao replies, "Two cups of coffee and a Coke."
A Kao went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell it to Kaos," he replied.
The Kao hurried home removed his beard and changed his hair style, then came back and again told the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Kaos," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he still can recognize me," he thought. He went for a complete
disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Kaos," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Kao?"
"Because that's a microwave," the salesman replied.
Why did 18 Kaos go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
The doctor told the Kao to run eight kilometers a day for 300 days TO LOSE WEIGHT..
After 300 days, the Kao called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he
had a problem: "I'm 2400 kms away from home."
A Kao's two sons Kilonzo and Muoki are waiting at the train station for a train to Machakos. A train comes and as the other passengers are boading, Kilonzo asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Machakos?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Then Can I?" asks Muoki.
Having lost his donkey a Kao, got down to his knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; why are you thanking God?"
The Kao replied "I am thanking him for that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
A Kao got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"How come you wrote "Chinese" when both parents are Kenyan?" asks the registrar.
The Kao says, "Ahhh... I read in the newspaper, that every 4th person born on Earth now is a Chinese."
Two dogs, Dip Dick and Spider, and a Kao were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Dip Dick!"
"Woof!" Dip Dick barks.
"Press the red button."
"Press the white button."
"Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
A Kao, Muoki, and a friend, Pakoris, went to South B.
They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Pakoris somehow managed to find a seat downstairs, but unfortunately Muoki got pushed to the top. After a while, when the rush was over, Pakoris went upstairs to see his friend Muoki. He met Muoki in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands and saying his prayers, scared to death.
He asks,"Oi Mkamba! What the heck's goin'on? Why are you so scared?...
I was really enjoying my ride down there?"
Muoki mumbles, "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
A Kao, with two red ears, went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."
A Hawaiian and a Kamba from Kenya were asked to form a sentence with the words: Green,Pink and Yellow.
The Hawaiian wrote: Every morning I put on my Pink shirt, light up my Green cigarette and look at the Yellow sun.
The Kamba wrote: Every time I hear the phone ring, "Green! Green!",
I pink it up and say, "Yellow! Yellow!"