10.2.04

Cow economics


TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS < ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" />



You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income.



INDIAN ECONOMICS



You have two cows. You worship them.



PAKISTANI ECONOMICS



You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the < ?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" />US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.



FRENCH ECONOMICS



You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.



GERMAN ECONOMICS



You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.



BRITISH ECONOMICS



You have two cows. They are both mad cows.



ITALIAN ECONOMICS



You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.



SWISS ECONOMICS



You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.



JAPANESE ECONOMICS



You have two cows. You re-design them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.



RUSSIAN ECONOMICS



You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.



CHINESE ECONOMICS



You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.



NIGERIAN ECONOMICS



You have two cows You eat one and claim it was stolen Call in the Police to investigate Police arrest everyone living within 100 kilometers Torture them thoroughly until someone admits kidnapping the cow The police instead collects one cow each from everybody arrested You have your cow back and the Police now owns a cattle farm.



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