31.12.04

Happy New Year !!

I'm going to be at Big Ben , counting down to 2005, then I'll be coming straight home.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 20Six.

Naughty Boy

I just had:

1. 4 pieces of roasted chicken from Asda
2. A portion of chips
3. 2 vegetable burgers
4. Half a tub of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream

For someone who is meant to be watching his weight, that wasn't very wise.

I've still got half a tub of ice cream downstairs........HELP !!

Right Click

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."

30.12.04

Last working day of the year…

is finally over. Time to go home.

I was going to do a post where I reviewed this year, which has been a remarkable year for me personally, but I've decided not to do that.

The news from South-East Asia is sickening. So many people dead. So far, about 120,000 people. It's the worst natural disaster in my lifetime. In just a few minutes, the forces of nature wiped out the lives of so many people. The more I think about it, the more helpless I  feel as a human being. Despite all our 'technological advancements', we are still no match for the forces of nature.

I saw some photos this morning, of bodies and debris, spread out over a 'road' in Sri Lanka I think it was. Photos of people fighting for food and clean water. Little children looking for their parents. It's all too much.....

There was a story in the Metro today, about a British woman who went to Thailand with her two sons and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend proposed to her on Christmas day. Her 5 year old son is confirmed dead, while her boyfriend and 8 year old are both missing. (Presumed dead). She is in hospital with head injuries. My heart goes out to her.

I don't even feel like celebrating new year anymore. I was going to go to Big Ben for New Years' Eve, but I might end up lighting a candle, and remembering all the lost souls, who were not fortunate enough to see 2005.

29.12.04

I’m getting angry

I was not going to blog about this, but it's beginning to get to me. OK, someone owes me money. And it seems that I may not get the money. £200. That kind of money could have made Christmas a lot 'sweeter'. How did this happen?

Well, I had plans for December 11th. I was meant to work. We were doing an office refit at the time, and that weekend was scheduled for termination of cables in the server room. Then on Sunday the 5th of December, someone asked me if I could sing in the choir for X-Factor's Steve in the final. So Monday the 6th, I told my boss I couldn't make Saturday, but I would work on Sunday. We arranged with the project manager, and other people involved and moved the entire job to Sunday. Then on Wednesday, I got another call. "If Steve wins, we would like you to sing on Sunday as well, 'cos he'll be doing Top of the Pops.". I was about to say I couldn't make it. The words were coming out of my mouth. Then she said "We'll pay you £200 for Sunday". Game, set and match.

I came into work on Thursday, and told my boss I couldn't make Sunday either. He wasn't very pleased. The entire job was shifted to next year !! (I suspect at considerable cost to the company). However, everyone understood that it was a great opportunity for me, and would have done the same if they were in my shoes, so they weren't angry with me (at least they didn't let me know!).

Anyway, a week after Top of the Pops, I called the girl who was meant to be arranging payment. I had faxed over my details, and she didn't even bother to confirm she got them ! She confirmed on the phone, and said she was trying to pay us on that day. That was 11days ago. Since then, no one has contacted me, and I still remain unpaid.

The appearance on CDUK was also meant to be another £200, but it was cancelled 2 days before, and Steve appeared with a brand new choir. GMTV the next week, another choir.

Anyway, let me stop moaning........................

28.12.04

3 in a row

Liverpool beat Southampton to knock up three wins in a row. It's been a really odd time for the Reds, the wins over Arsenal and Olympiakos were overshadowed by defeat to Everton and a couple of draws, but it seems the Reds are back on track now.

Stevie 'Wonder' Gerrard put in another man of the match performance, and has signalled that he doesn't intend to leave Merseyside in a hurry. Chelsea have got their fangs out, but it seems Stevie is going, at least the way he is playing, he's not planning on jumping ship just yet !!

Next match Chelsea. I can't wait. It will be a tough one, but I think we may be able to grind out a result. That is definately the match of the day on the 1st of January !!

Talking about the transfer window, it is no longer a secret that we need a striker. Morientes seems to be a likely target, and Anelka as well. It's a tough choice, Anelka will still be eligible to play Champions League, while Morientes, as good as he is, will not. And I think we still have a chance of doing well in the Champions League if we can get our act together. However, Anelka comes with too much baggage. He has been trouble for almost every club he's played for. And there must have been a reason why Houllier decided not to sign him before.

My suggestion (as insignificant and unimportant as it is !!) would be that Liverpool should try and sign James Beattie. The Southampton striker seems set to leave the South Coast, and Aston Villa and Newcastle are ready for a bidding war. I've been a long-time admirer of the lad, and I think he will fit into the Liverpool team just perfectly. Newcastle may be able to out bid us, but if asked, I suspect he'd prefer to play for Liverpool ;)

Anyway, time for me to go the bed. The mighty Reds are ready to tear Chelsea APART.........

Back to the grind

Work tomorrow.

Had a great holiday though, watched 'Man on Fire' DVD yesterday, good movie, really long but good.

Today was spent with my lovely girlfriend. We didn't get to spend Christmas together, so today we exchanged gifts, went out for a meal, and just had fun together.

And now...work tomorrow. I've olny got two days this week though, I'm off New year's eve as well. I suspect half the office will be off this week, so things will be pretty slow.....hopefully.

27.12.04

Chirstmas has come and gone….

and it wasn't bad at all. I was up in Gloucester with my brother and his family, and it was fun. It actually snowed on Christmas day, which was pretty cool.

I used Megabus.com to get up there, which was a bit dodgy, customer service is non-existent, the buses can be cramped and a bit uncomfortable, but hey, where else could you get a ticket to Glouscester for £3 ? (£1 if I had booked a few weeks earlier!)

Anyway, I'm back in London now, and I've got 2 days to relax and recharge my batteries.

24.12.04

Christmas Goodbyes

Today was actually fun !! Met up with an old friend, and we went down to Oxford Street to hook up with 2 other old friends, I hadn't seen them in over 10 years ! We went into Starbucks and stayed there till they closed at 10pm !! We all went to secondary school together, so it was nice to talk about old times, and who was doing what and all.......

I'm off to Glouscester tomorrow to spend Christmas with my brother and his family. Their internet connection is a dial-up, and I'm not sure if I can ever use a dial-up connection again, so this may be my last blog before Christmas. I'll be back home on sunday but till then.....this is good bye 20six, have a merry Christmas all !!

21.12.04

Gangsta’s Paradise

That was the theme of our office Christmas party. So we all got dressed up, and off we went.

The venue was a bar/club near London bridge, located inside a tunnel , and had a gangster feel to it as well. It was actually very planned and LOADS of good fun !! I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would !!

First of all, we had a champagne reception, then we had the meal proper. Then the real fun began.

We were given $100 each (fake money, of course !), and away we went to gamble it all away. I was at the Roulette table for alomst 3 hours !!

I lost my initial $100 and then someone gave me another $100, and then I lost all that as well. Then, I found a chip on the floor (worth $10). I put it on the table, and then BOOM. The ball landed on that number, and there I was with $3600 !! I gambled again and again and again, and before I knew what happened, I was fooling around with around $10,000 !! At the end of the day, I had about $6000, when the lady said she was about to close to table. So I risked about $5000 and lost it all, only to be told there was going to be a prize for the best gambler !! So, on the last throw, I was left with $900. And I won !! I was given the prize for the best gambler !!

On to dancing.......................

All in all, a really cool and fun prty.

20.12.04

Tomorrow……….

I've got to be at work at 9am. Then we close at 11.30 am for the office party..........

Then I'm off work till the 29th..........

Will still have access to Internet, so the blogging continues.

Mellor’s law

When Danny Murphy left Liverpool, he left some very big shoes to fill.

Whenever Danny Murphy scored for Liverpool, we never lost that match, which was espcially sweet as he scored against Man U on a few occasions, and we went on to beat the silly old mancs. This phenomenon was simply refered to as Murphy's Law.

Well, today, it would seem that a new hero is being forged on the training fields of Melwood. This season, Neil Mellor has played for the first team 11 times. He's scored 5 goals. And we've won every match in which he's scored.

Mellor's law.............?

Happy Blog Birthday to Me !!



I've been blogging on 20Six for exactly one year today !!!

19.12.04

Ouch

I'm still a bit 'sore' and have a massive headache. Just got back from church. Need to rest, long day ahead tomorrow.

Hillsong London (my church) has secured a bigger venue, and from next year, we'll be using the Dominion Theatre on Totenham Court Road. And the number of services wil drop from 7 to 3(or 4). This will be lot less stress on the choir and other teams, today I realised how hard it is for everyone. I had to queue to get into church, in the cold, while we were served malt wine, hot tea and mince pies !! It was a Christmas Carol service tho, and it was simply divine, enjoyable. hopefully, I'll be back to my choir duties soon, it was strange looking at them from the audience today !!

Time to get ready for bed.............a bit early for me, but it's all good.

18.12.04

Steve…..

was on CDUK, with a whole new choir.

Guess that spells the end .

Aaahh………

Just realised that Steve is doing CD:UK without the choir. I see...........

I WAS ON TV (Again) !!

Don't worry, it's not getting to my head. I'm using up my 15 minutes of fame quite rapidly though, have to be careful..!

Saw Top of The Pops tonight, and it was great. Steve looked great, and like I said, once he started singing, no one was booing, there was cheering everywhere..........so there !! the British press is so full of crap, I don't know why anyone bothers with them.

In other related news, I also saw Friday Night with Johnathan Ross, with my favourite comedian in the world, Johnny Vegas. He was brilliant (as usual, what else do you expect?). I love the way Vegas takes over the 'interview' on chat shows and stuff, the show where he did 'Room 101' is the best ever !! He's naturally funny, and I love his work.

17.12.04

Oh my gosh

Yesterday, I thought I was going to be at work till about 8pm, 9pm tops. I was meant to move 10 PCs, and reconnect them at their new locations. However, I ended up doing about 20 PCs, and finishing at 1am. Got a cab around 1.15am, and got home about 20 minutes after that. My boss gave me clearance to come to work after lunch today, which I did, but I'm still a bit tired.

Therefore, tonight, I shall treat myself. I shall get a nice plate of something to eat, and then go home and indulge myself in a long overdue session of Xbox heaven. I have to do some cooking;/shopping/laundry, but I'll leave all that till tomorrow.

have a good day people.

16.12.04

The 12 bugs of Christmas

Too many of us have had to deal with software problems and support like this!

The 12 Bugs of Christmas - A Software Developers' Version

1. For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
See if they can do it again.

2. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Askthem how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

3. For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

4. For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

5. For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how theydid it and
See if they can do it again.

6. For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it
and
See if they can do it again.

7. For the seventh bug of Christmas,
my manager said to me:
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

8. For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it
and
See if they can do it again.

9. For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

10. For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

11. For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

12. For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Tell them it's a feature
Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

Cancelled

CDUK gig has been cancelled.

On hearing that, I searched Google news for any recent press on Steve, and found out some distressing stuff.

Now, he was booed at the TOTP gig, yeah, but I would say there was more cheering than booing, and after he finally finished, there was loads of cheering. the booing didn't surprise me, due to the way he won X-Factor. However, based on this fact, several bookmakers have started paying out on Band Aid 20 being Christamas No. 1, believing Steve won't make it. Also, apparently, he couldn't handle the difficult questions at the interview afterwards, and his PR person had to stop the interview prematurely. Not good either. Everyone is already precdicting he's not going to go far........which makes me sad. I hope it all turns out well for him, as he's a genuinely nice guy, and I really want him to succeed.

I'm just hoping that the CDUK gig was not cancelled because of all this.

I'm at home today, and I'm actually beginning to approach 80%. I know this because although I woke up at 9.30am, I have a burning desire to play my Xbox. I'm off to work around 2.30......so I had better get started.

15.12.04

Don’t be as dumb as me…………

If you're ill, don't go to work.

No matter what.

Back at work……………

But I feel that I should have taken another day off. I'm feeling better, but not yet 100%. However, lying around at home all day yesterday was not as fun as I thought it would be, although I did have my very wonderful and caring girlfriend come round to look after me (which was a massive plus!). but I slept a bit too much.................and had trouble sleeping at night.

Anyway, my fever has subsided, and apart from a slight headache (which I am currently bombarding with doses of Paracetamol at intervals), I'm OK. I've got to work a little late tonight, but I'll be taking things easy all day........

14.12.04

Again?

Liverpool played BADLY, and dropped 2 points in injury time, as they lost to Portsmouth. This is after the HUMILIATING loss to Everton at the weekend. Why are they playing so poorly?

Today……………

was spent sleeping. now that I'm awake, I feel a lot better. It's amazing that I've spent a whole day at home, and didn't even turn on my Xbox.......oh my gosh, I must be ill !!

Have to get to work tomorrow, but I feel I'll be up to it. Have a bit of a headache, but I'm sure I can manage.

One of the people in the choir is an American woman called Jocelyn Brown. Whenever she spoke, I could detect wisdom, the kind of wisdom that comes with experience. A few people seemed to know her, and I figured she was famous. So I 'googled' her, and now, I feel honoured to have been so close to her.

"Unless you've been living in a cave since the late '70s, you have heard Jocelyn Brown's voice at one point or another. As clichéd as it sounds, if the term "disco diva" appeared in a dictionary, a picture of Jocelyn Brown would most likely be placed next to its definition"

*Boso comes out of his cave and searches again*

"Jocelyn Brown is a living legend. As a singer and as a person she has contribiuted to some of the most memeorable recordings created over the last 25 years. The sheer power and delivery of that voice has allowed her to create a fanbase that stretches scross the globe.

Some of the world's most prestigious artists have brought her in to add that special something to their songs: John Lennon, Bruce Springsteen, George Benson, Jimi Hendrix, Roy Ayers, Diana Ross, Michael Bolton and even Michael Jackson are just a handful who give thanks to Jocelyn Brown."



(From Sony Music UK's site)

On Saturday, when someone asked her what she was famous for, she mentioned a song called "Somebody Else's guy". She told us the story of how a man broke her heart, and at the same time her sister had her heart broken as well, and they both channeled all their pain into that song. I haven't heard it yet, but I am now actively searching for it.

Reading the cutomer reviews for her albums on Amazon.com, I have nothing but admiration for the woman.

Smoking Power Supply

I used to work in a computer store and one day we had a gentleman call in with a smoking power supply. The service representative was having a bit of trouble convincing this guy that he had a hardware problem.


Service Rep: Sir, something has burned within your power supply.

Customer: I bet that there is some command that I can put into the AUTOEXEC.BAT file that will take care of this.

Service Rep: There is nothing that software can do to help you with this problem.

Customer: I know that there is something I can put in... some command... maybe it should go into the CONFIG.SYS.

[After a few minutes of going round and round]

Service Rep: Okay, I am not supposed to tell anyone this but there is a hidden command in some versions of DOS that you can use. I want you to edit your AUTOEXEC.BAT and add the last line as C:DOSNOSMOKE and reboot your computer.

[Customer does this]

Customer: It is still smoking.

Service Rep: I guess you'll need to call Microsoft and ask them for a patch for the NOSMOKE.EXE.

[The customer then hung up. We thought that we had heard the last of this guy. But NO; he calls back four hours later!]

Service Rep: Hello, Sir, how is your computer?

Customer: I called Microsoft and they said that my power supply is incompatible with their NOSMOKE.EXE and that I need to get a new one. I was wondering when I can have that done and how much it will cost....

13.12.04

And another one…..

The Good News

I've just received a text asking if I'm free to sing with the choir (and Steve) on Saturday on CDUK.

The Bad News

I've got a headache, blocked nose, sore throat, cough and slight fever.And I just threw up.

Was going to do a post on Sharon Osbourne, after reading something in the Daily Mirror that made my blood boil. But I need to get some rest.

12.12.04

Today, I’ve been hanging out with……………

Actually, I've just been backstage with..........

Lemar
Natasha Bedingfield
McFly
Girls Aloud
Kylie Minogue

will helping Steve with his first performance since winning X-Factor last night. It was mad fun seeing all those famous people. I took a few pictures, but I was told that anything with the BBC logo on it was 'wrong' as 'some people might post them to the Internet, and they would be in breach of copyright'. so I've gone through the photos, and there's only one that I can post

This is McFly during their rehearsals (from backstage, so I was behind them).



I've got some lovely pics of them real close, Tasha Bedingfield and Lemar, and girls aloud, but I can't post them I'm afraid.

Choir Pics

And the winner is……….

STEVE

I just came home from the time of my life. Had a great time at the X-Factor....but did G4 even think they could win with that selection of songs? Was really glad Steve won, because that means we get to back him up (the choir) in a recording tomorrow for TOP OF THE POPS. So it's another long day for me tomorrow.

However, I have lost all respect for Sharon Osbourne. Anyone who saw the show will have an idea why, however, there was an incident in the afternoon, during a rehearsal where she behaved like a ........bitch. (A word I don't like to use, but I can't find another one that will describe how I feel). I'll leave it at that.

So, I get to meet Steve again tomorrow. YIPPEE !!

Didn't get any celeb pics, as there was a lot of tension and stuff, however, I got a picture with some of the members of the choir. Will post that tomorrow. Have to sleep now, really long day tomorrow !!!!

10.12.04

Gmail Invites

I've got 5 invites to give away. Anyone interested?

Pages of life



"In the beginning, while the Heavens and Earth were yet without form and shape, You looked upon us from eternity, loving us for all You created us to be, accepting us just as we are. So, as we reflect on the time we have and the life You have given to us, You make us increasingly aware our blessings and miracles flow from Your hand alone. With all we have, we celebrate and ascribe worth to You, who created all things and by whom all things were made. the Sovereign ruler of Earth and sky, your heart is not to curse, neither is it Your desire to see anyone lost; but You allow everyone a chance to experince Your love. Your will is the ultimate goal, and in Your omniscience You have carefully orchestrated our steps. You have authored the Pages of Life."

This is simply my favourite music CD of all time. I just had it delivered today, after giving away my last copy in 2001 when I left Nigeria to study in Liverpool. I've missed it so much. Unfortunately, music playing has been banned in my office (just this week), so I'll have to wait till I get home to hear it.

9.12.04

Tonight…….

Tonight, I was exhausted after a really long and absorbing day at work. But several things happened to make me feel so much better, so I figured I'd better post this, even though I'm half awake, as I may not have the time tomorrow, and it won't be 'fresh'. After work today:

1. Got a phone call from a friend, to talk about the X-factor thing. It appears that we're gonna be required for another live TV performance on Sunday (Unfortunately, it's supposed to be hush hush, so I can't say anything, I will however post it on Friday night!). Oh, and we're gonna get paid ! Yippee !!

2. Had a great time at church cell tonight. We had pizza and a movie as a lot of people were no shows. We saw '50 first dates' which I hadn't seen before, a good laugh, and I had a very relaxing night.....which I needed, it's been a while since I've let myself unwind.

3. Halfway through cell, I got a phone call that Liverpool was trailing 1-0 to a Rivaldo goal. I was depressed. At the end of cell, got a message again, we'd won!! 3-1 !! We go to the knock-out stages !! Go REDS !!

4. Every Wednesday, I make the short trip from North Greenwich to Stratford on the jubilee line. Usually, it's uneverntful, but today, the driver made us all chuckle. Usually, all you get is "this is Startford, where this train will terminate" or something of the like. Today we had something like "Unfortunately, this train will not be going any further, so you'll have to walk towards National rail or the Central line, which are not far from the platform. I guess that means you can change for those services here, unless of course, your house is nearby, and in that case, you're walking home. Please take all your belongings with you as you leave the train. By belongings, I mean not just suitcases, but all those lovely take away carriages I can see, newspapers, coke cans, everything. Take them home with you, because I don't want them. And you'll be helping to keep the Jubilee line clean !! ......................................................(and he went on and on and on!). And finally, if I don't see you again, have a Merry Christmas, and a happy New year. Good night." By this time, we were all laughing our heads off.

great day. Now time for me to grab some shut eye, as I have to be in the office tomorrow morning by 7.30am. May need to work really late on thursday and friday so that I can get all my showbiz stuff done on the weekend. SO EXCITED.

good night world.

7.12.04

So tired………..

I've been so busy recently. The office refit means a lot of daily chaos and running about to sort out reconnnections and re-cabling.......all on top of my usual job. I was in early on Monday, and I expect a late night on Thursday.

The good news is that our choir has been invited to sing with Steve for the final of Xfactor !! I'm really looking forward to it, seeing all those wonderful people again. However, this means I will have to juggle both work and choir, and after discussions with my very understanding boss and the project manager, they have decided to move the cable termination from Saturday to Sunday. So I guess this weekend will be really hectic for me, but hey Christmas is coming, so I guess I'll get a lot of rest, right?

On the other hand, the 'shambolic' manager (read previous posts here and here) apparently commended the entire IT department in the management meeting on Monday, saying we were really helpful with the office refit project. Cool, it's nice when all your hard work actually gets appreciated once in a while !!

Ctrl-Alt-Delete


  • Customer: "My machine won't do anything."

  • Tech Support: "What's on the screen right now?"

  • Customer: "It's frozen, it's showing my Windows desktop."

  • Tech Support: "Try hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete, tell me what happens."

  • Customer: (taptaptap) "Nothing."

  • Tech Support: "Did you hit all of them at once?"

  • Customer: "Umm...just a second." (taptaptap) "I did that time. Nothing happened."

  • Tech Support: "Try it again."

  • Customer: (taptaptap) "No, it's just sitting there."

  • Tech Support: "Move the mouse around. What happens?"

  • Customer: "Nothing, the arrow doesn't move."

  • Tech Support: "Ok, last try, hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete again."

  • Customer: "Still nothing."

  • Tech Support: "Hit your numlock key. Does the light flash?"

  • Customer: "No."

  • Tech Support: "Ok, you're going to have to shut your computer off. Just press the power button, wait for a couple of seconds, and turn it on again."

  • Customer: "I've heard that's bad for Windows."

  • Tech Support: "Um, well, you can't do anything else, right?"

  • Customer: "No."

  • Tech Support: "Well, you can't hurt it any worse then."

  • Customer: "But I've heard it's bad for Windows to just shut it off without shutting down first."

  • Tech Support: "Yes, but it's locked up. There's nothing else you can do."

  • Customer: "Will it hurt my Windows?"

  • Tech Support: "Probably no worse than it already was by locking up."

  • Customer: "Well...ok...but if it doesn't work, will you come over and fix it for me?"

4.12.04

Operating Systems

A girl walked into the computer center where I work. She said she was having problems with her Mac. I asked what kind of Mac she had. In an indignant voice, she replied, "Duh, Intosh."

Tech Support: "What operating system are you running? Windows 95?"
Customer: (a little too excited) "95, 97, 98, I've got them all!"
After conferring with her husband, it turned out she owned a Macintosh with System 8.1.

A customer called in with modem problems.
Tech Support: "Ok, we're going to check your modem settings. First thing we need to do is make sure all programs are closed."
Customer: "How do I know if everything is closed?"
Me: "Make sure all windows are closed."
Customer: "But...I'm in the basement. I don't have any windows here."

Lucky me, I made it to the the mute button in time!

Microsoft jumps on the wagon

With Blogs now going mainstream, Microsoft has jumped on the wagon and started hosting blogs at at ttp://spaces.msn.com/.

Blogs have really become the latest fad, with 'blog' being chosen as the word of the year by Merriam-Webster (an American dictionary publisher). 'Blog' was simply the most looked up word of the year, and it will appear in the 2005 edition of the dictionary.

Top ten words of 2004:

1. blog
2. incumbent
3. electoral
4. insurgent
5. hurricane
6. cicada
7. peloton
8. partisan
9. sovereignty
10. defenestration

There have been several high profile blogs this year.

1. Iraq: Nearly all the information from Iraq is filtered by politicians or the media. But not blogs. Before the war in Iraq, the world had only heard of one blogger, who went by his online name of Salam Pax. Now there are about 70 high profile blogs, Confusion is a common theme among many of the Iraqi blogs, which is not surprising, given the difficult situation in Iraq.

2. Belle De Jour: A London call girl's blog was one of the most popular sites worldwide. When she decided to call it a day and stop blogging, it was such an event that the BBC Website did an article on it. Last year, the blog earned a Guardian newspaper award and Belle was also signed up for a book deal based on her apparent experiences as a call girl.

3. Flight Attendant: A US flight attendant lost her job, over pictures she posted on her blog, and also received a lot of media attention. Queen of the Sky, otherwise known as Ellen Simonetti, evolved into an anonymous semi-fictional account of life in the sky.But after she posted pictures of herself in uniform, Delta Airlines suspended her indefinitely without pay, and then fired her. Ms Simonetti was told her suspension was a result of "inappropriate" images.

4. Boris Johnson: Even though I'm not his biggest fan, Boris Johnson has been one of the most talked about politicians this year. The Tory MP has been on a rollercoaster ride, receiving a lot of attention, and then a spectacular crash when he was fired for lying over an affair. However, I have to confess that I read his blog every now and then, as his opinions on the latest politcal issues make a very interesting read.

It’s been mad

The last few days have just been mad. I've been so busy, I can't explain how I made it. Yesterday, I had to make an emergency trip down to Dorking to fix a PC that's been giving grief for almost 2 weeks now. And then I was in the office today at 7am, to sort out an office recabling project. I've got to go to work tomorrow as well. Mad, I tell you, mad.

And Monday, I've got to be in at 8am.

on the upside, remember my blog about the manager that called my project 'shambolic'. Well, he's in charge of the office refit that's led to this cabling thing. And this morning, my manager had a go at him, as we completed a cabling job that contractors were meant to have done last night, otherwise, we'd have had no power/data to our PCs. And somewhere in all the talking, I heard the word 'shambolic'. What goes around, comes around.

2.12.04

So proud….

another good day for the mighty, mighty reds. An under strength team beat totenham on penalties tonight in the carling cup to go into the semis. We'll play Watford in the semis, which looks good on paper.

COME ON REDS !!

30.11.04

Hiring Slogans (And what they really mean)

Beware of Companies With These Hiring Slogans:

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some each night and some each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.

Work, work and guess what? More work !!

I'm working till pretty late again tonight. They're renovating our office to creat more desk space, and as the IT guy, I need to surpervise the cabling, which is a pain ! I have received assurance that the job will be completed before Christmas, which is good.

I'll also be required to come in for the next 2 Saturdays, but I'll be given a day and half holidays in lieu for each one, which is brilliant. I've got 12 more days off till May next year, and with the extra 3, I can take the 2 days off in December, and start next year with 13 days !! Sounds like a plan.

I have to say I am very dissapointed with FIFA 2005 on the Xbox. It's not as fluid and as playable as I'd have liked, and the season mode doesn't have the FA cup, Champs League, etc. The last one I've played was 2003 on the PC, and all that was in it. Or is it just missing on the Xbox version. I'm not a happy camper. Should have gone for Pro Evo Soccer 4. But then, I got this one for £5, so it's not that bad. Maybe I'll flog in on Ebay and get Pro Evo then....now that sounds like a plan !!

29.11.04

there is such a thing as a free lunch !!

I had a free 6' subway sandwich today and a cookie and soft drink too !! nice. My favourite lunch for free !!

Just found out that I'll be working for the next 2 weekends. Not good. However, I will be getting a day off in lieu, so I'm planning to take the 22nd and the 23rd off, 24th is already a holiday in our office, so I won't go back to work for a whole week !!

Anyways, I need to play my Xbox now......good night !!

Perfect Deaths

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple; and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Question: Who was the survivor?

Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke. Men keep scrolling. ****

So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

*** Men keep scrolling ****

By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.

Pussy Cat

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway!

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out of the car and quickly headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat again!

He kept taking the cat further and further away but the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive quite a few miles away--so he turned right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Hon, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Can you please put him on the phone? I'm lost and need directions"

28.11.04

BBC Songs of Praise - Hillsong Church

I wasn't home, but I set my video to record. I like the way the show came out, and I think the church was potrayed in a good way. I just hope it helps people to see that going to church doesn't make you a stiff-necked, upright, holier-than-thou git !!

There were a few close up shots of me, and to be honest, I was glad it wasn't more than a few. I don't like the way I look on TV. I need to lose weight. FAST.

Anyways, time for me to break my Xbox in. Good night people.

SWEET !!!!!!!!

Liverpool 2 Arsenal 1

Nuff said?

What a game !! Liverpool surpassed all my expectation, as they raised their game to beat the champions. I didn't see the matc, as I took my girlfriend out to lunch, but nothing will make me miss Match of the day tonight.



UPDATE:(After seeing the highlights on Match of the Day) Mellor has come into his own. He was simply brilliant tonight, and deserved to score his first premiership goal. In fact, the way he took it, it's hard to believe that's only his second senior goal. I think we are to see good things from this young lad, and this injury 'crisis' may actually give him a chance to prove himself.

GO REDS !! Now, let's try and make sure we move above Everton !!

DISGRACE

Is something wrong with Diouf? Why does he go about spitting at everyone? It's disgraceful behaviour, and this is the 3rd time he's done this publicly. I'm glad Liverpool loaned him out, he should be gotten rid of ASAP. I'm DIGUSTED.

Liverpool play Arsenal tomorrow, thankfully, I'll be in church. I don't see how we'll score with no good strikers. I just don't see it happening. I predict a defeat, and I just hope it's not a bad one !!

27.11.04

Xbox vs. Playstation 2 : The final chapter

OK, this is the last time I'm going to talk about this, promise.

XBOX

Pros

Better Processor, hence better graphics
Halo 2 (Not available on PS2)
Even though Microsoft plans to release the Xbox2 in 2006 ,many people believe that this is not necessary, as the Xbox has not yet been used to it's full capabilities

Cons

To play online, I'll require a credit card, which, due to a bad credit rating, I don't have.
A lot of the games on the Xbox were originally designed for the PS2, so the Xbox game designers did not put as much effort, and hence, some games end up being better on the PS2.

Playstation 2

Pros

More games are available
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is not available on any other platform
Online play is free.
It looks BEAUTIFUL !

Cons

Will be replaced by the PS3 next year
Requires the purchase of a memory card to save games.

With all this in mind, I BOUGHT MY XBOX YESTERDAY. Can't really afford it right now, and I'm sure that in 2 weeks time, when I'm dying of hunger, I'll regret my actions. However, being the bargain hunter that I am.....I had my eye on several deals, and wanted to get everything before Xmas shopping starts, and the shops will either cancel the deals, or be out of stock.

So:

Xbox + FIFA 2005 = £104.95 (HMV - Saving of £35)
Halo 2 + Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow = £39.99 (Dixons - Saving of £40)
Grand Theft Auto Twin pack = £39.99 (Argos)

So that's it. Each and every single purchase I made was the last item in stock in every shop I went to !! Spooky eh?

The worst thing? I haven't been able to play it ! One of the disadvantages of being an adult is that you don't have anyone to do stuff for you, so I spent today shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing. After all that, I had to go to church, as I'm on choir duty this weekend. Tomorrow, I've got choir in the morning, and the girlfriend and I are going out after that. Also, somewhere in between all that, I have to watch TV, as my church will be featured on BBC1, on "Songs of Praise" at 5.15pm. I was sitting in the 2nd row in the audience, just behind the pastors, and I've seen some footage, and there are a few shots of me in a brown sweater. Watch out for me !!

Have a great weekend people !!

25.11.04

What a day…..

7.30am: Woke up an hour late. had to rush out of the house to get on my way to Dorking.

9.15am: Waterloo Station. 9.15 train cancelled. 9.45 train delayed.

10.30am: Train has been standing still for about 20 minutes. Apparently, there's a problem at Guildford.

11.30am: Get to Dorking. Can't figure out what's wrong with the PC there. Call Dell. They can't either. Arrange for them to pick it up tomorrow. Wasted journey then !! Leave for London at 1.20pm, after the manager there buys me lunch (now how did he know I was broke?!)

1.49pm: walk into Dorking station, as the London train leaves. Have to wait till 2.19pm for the next one.

3pm(I think!): Back to London. CRISIS. Our ISP has sent a very stern worded email about us having a virus on our network. I defiantly disagree, but agree to scan every single PC with free tool from McAfee. Find tons of viruses, including Bagle, the culprit in question. To all Network Administrators out there, F-SECURE is CRAP. How could it allow so many viruses through? I'm not happy at all. Will look into moving to another anti-virus next February. One computer had 75 viruses !! Didn't have a minute's rest until I was sure every single PC was virus free (about 10 minutes ago).

6pm(Well 5.51pm if you wanna be exact): Leaving for choir practice. WHAT A DAY, eh?

In between belt holes…..

The last 2 weeks or so, my trousers have been falling off me. As I've been losing weight, I've been going down a few belt holes. However, evey now and then, you get to a point where you're 'in-between' belt holes, where one is a bit too tight, and the other is a bit too loose. So I assumed that was what was happening again, and ignored it. This morning however, I 'struggled' to try and get to the next hole, only to take off the belt and find out I was on the last hole !! It's official, my belt is too small for me !! I'm loosing weight !! Yay !!

I don't like weighing myself regularly, as when I find that I haven't lost any, I get dissapointed, so I'd rather this kind of stuff encourage me. So I'm using a brand new belt today. Well, not totally brand new. I bought it 2 years ago, and it was too small for me. but I kept it. For a day like today. And I'm on the 2nd hole on that one already !!

YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!

Silly me….

I should be sleeping. But I decided to try and play Unreal (just one game!) online, only to find that I need to download several MBs of addons for almost any server I tried to join. So I'm downloading them now in the background. So let me babble on a bit......

I decided to try out the Firefox web browser today, after reading a few rave reviews and an article on it on BBC News today. Basically, it's the main competitor to Internet Explorer, it's Open Source and it's GREAT. You can open different pages in tabs, and be on several pages at the same time. And it's imported all my cookies, passwords and faves from Internet Explorer !! I'm going to try out their email program soon.........so is this goodbye Microsoft? I've been a strong MS supporter for ages (As an Micorsoft Certified Systems Engineer, you'd expect that), but I may be beginning to sway..........

Harry Redknapp has resigned !! what a shame. He's one of the managers I actually respect. Maybe he should get the England job?

I love this statistics thing on 20Six. You can check which keywords people have put into search engines to get to your site. Last month, it was dominated with people searching for advice on Visa Applications, and Nigerians.

This time around, it's dominated by my one night on TV (X-Factor) and the pictures, and my mental arangle on whether to get the Xbox or the Playstation.

Key Phrases
























































xbox vs playstation94.1 %
boso83.6 %
funny pictures73.1 %
emlyn hughes jokes62.7 %
hillsong church london62.7 %
hillsong church52.2 %
x factor cassie pics41.8 %
perfect 1041.8 %
xbox vs playstation 231.3 %
funny baboon pictures31.3 %
Other phrases16474.8 %

Key words





























































221 different keywordsSearchPercent
x698.3 %
factor698.3 %
pictures465.5 %
cassie263.1 %
hillsong242.9 %
the232.7 %
pics212.5 %
funny202.4 %
xbox202.4 %
playstation172 %
Other words49259.4 %

Ah, Cassie......don't worry, it'll all work out !!

As for the Xbox vs. Playstaion 2, I've kinda decided to go for the Xbox(seduced by the Halo 2 ads on TV), but I still don't feel 100% confident. The new Playstation 2 simply looks STUNNING. Should buy the 'winning console' on December 17th. Advice anyone?

Tired….

I'm completely exhausted. And I've got to be in Dorking early tomorrow morning. That's an extra hour and a half on my travel time.

So this would not be a good time to play Unreal, right? Right.

Good night all.

Open letter to George Bush from the new country of California

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East States, and the urban half of Ohio.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 PM EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then. God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addition, we're getting San Diego (sorry, that's just how it goes). But God is letting you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie Chicks).

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and antiwar. Speaking of war, we're goingto need all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in Fallujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have tons of kids
they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.

So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands, though. She IS from the South, right?)

Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with your own late night TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny show.)

We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.

Sincerely,

The Nation of New California

24.11.04

no way….









You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few
.

What kind of blogger are you?

Dreams can come true….

Today, I had to go to Oxford Street, and I made a slight detour, to get a delicious Subway sandwich. As I stood in the queue, I wished there was a Subway closer to my office. The closest one is at Liverpool Street, which is a 20 minute walk !! I enjoyed my sandwich.

On my way to the gym, I was walking with someone, so I took a slighty different route. I've been cooking my own lunch (at home), so I don't go out much during my break. And I saw it. The subway logo.

I went closer.

And it's true. On Fenchurch Street. Opening on Monday the 29th. Free sandwiches on Monday. I CAN'T WAIT.

Gym went beautifully today. I did 13 minuutes on the treadmill without stopping, for the first time !! OK, I only did half of it at the speed the instructor asked me to use, but I'm still chuffed. All my other exercises went really well, and I think my fitness levels have actually improved !! YIPPEE !!

What a difference a year makes

Exactly a year ago, I was earning 25,000 naira (Equivalent of £100) a month, in a job I wasn't too happy in. All I had to look forward to was a year of national service earning 7500 naira a month. Things looked bleak, and everyday, I had to make an effort to get up, to even live life.

Today, I received my payslip, and it all seems like a distant memory. I'm in a great job, work with great people, earning REAL money (almost 15 times more, after tax!), living on my own in the greatest city in the world, I'm in a WONDERFUL church, I've got my FABULOUS girlfriend close by, and life is on the up. But I'm not one to forget where I come from.

I've got to thank:

My parents - who's money helped me get to the UK. Also for helping me out with my visa application
My girlfriend - who stuck with me through thick and thin.
My wonderful friends - Who've been there no matter what
Last but not least
GOD - for making it all possible. For having my back through it all, and for showing me the way.......

This crazy cyber world

What will they think of next?

Apparently, there's a beauty pageant, for digital women. Yup, digitally designed women. They do the catwalk and everything. Top prize is $5000 !!

http://www.missdigitalworld.com/

23.11.04

bad day

1. Went to pick up my P45 from my last employer (finally!). Got back to the office, only to find that there's a mistake on it

2. I'm completely and utterly FLAT BROKE, as in ZERO. Till Friday.

3. I haven't received a single email today. Not one. I usually get about 2 an hour.

4. My MP3 player has gone dead again.

My desktop is reborn…..



Long live Liverpool......

We play Monaco tonight, and although Baros is injured, I've been an admirer of the lad since the first time I saw him play.

And now that I have freeview I can watch the match in the comfort of my room. Although, I want to go to the gym after work, so I might just catch the 2nd half.......

GO REDS !!

Back to Life !!

This morning, (well, it's 10 minutes past midnight, so maybe yesterday morning then), I picked up my CD/MP3 player which hasn't worked for over a month. And to my greatest surprise, it had miraculously comeback to life !! Yipeee !! I walked to the station this morning, instead of waiting for the bus, but I was listening to music, so it wasn't all bad. I missed my player so much.......

OK, going to bed now.....work tomorrow....Good night all...

22.11.04

Dilemma

OK, I've got a new wireless keyboard and mouse.

Advantages
My table is so uncluttered with fewer cables running about.
It looks kinda cool in a nerdy way.

Disadvantages
The keyboard and mouse need to have a direct line of path to the receiver. So after placing CDs and stuff in the way, you have to clear it up (Might help me keep my table tidy, but HEY !)
The response time when playing Unreal isn't very good. To play the game seriously, I'll need to revert to the wired keyboard and mouse.

But after spending £20 on the wireless keyboard and mouse, it would seem like such a waste !! I already have 2 keyboards, 1 Antivirus package, 1 USB Wireless Network Card, all barely used, all useless to me. Will flog off the USB Network Card on Ebay....but I can't go on like this !! And to top it up I'm SKINT.....

OK, on my way home......will decide what to do later.

The weekend….

Had a topsy-turvy kind of weekend:

Friday: Had to work till about 10pm! Got home very tired, as I went to the gym that evening as well.

Saturday: Woke up all sore. Had a converrsation with my girlfriend, which drove me over the edge, you know one of those ones where you swear you'll never speak to the person again? Well, I did my best, didn't talk to her for 29 hours ! Went to church in the evening to fill in for someone (Choir Duty). I decided to sponsor a child in Uganda at church through Compassion UK, and now I've 'adopted' Thembo Joshua. I've got his picture on my wall even. It's gonna cost me £18 a month, but I'm glad to be making a difference in someone's life.

On my way home, I got a text from someone who was at X-Factor. Cassie actually told her to say hi to me ! I was actually amazed she rememberred me !! I had decided to stop voting on X-Factor when I saw my last phone bill, but with this 'new information', I voted for Cassie right there at the bus stop. Twice. Only to get home and find out she got voted off. I was gutted. Really, really, gutted. And to make it worse, Liverpool lost to Boro.

Sunday: Woke up, and I decided to live like I didn't have a girlfriend for a week. The first few hours were great. I made plans without thinking about anyone else, I decided to go to the cinema with my flatmates, then changed my mind, and went a computer fair at Stratford.Spent £50, bought a wireless keyboard, memory for my PC, and an extension lead for the broadband router. With the extra memory, my PC is running like clockwork, and the extension lead meant I could place the wireless router on a higher shelf, and now, it seems that all my connection problems are gone. My next project will be getting better speakers for my PC, and a faster Wireless card, so I can get a 154 Mbps connection (right now, I'm on 54 Mbps). I also bought another game.


It was on sale for £10. would have bought the 2004 version, but my PC doesn't have a graphics card, and I had played this back in Nigeria, and knew it ran on average PCs quite well. Only, I had been playing Unreal Tournament 2003, Game of the Year Edition. Which is a completely different game. But this game looks like it will give me many hours of fun.

Played for less than 15 minutes. Put it aside. When the lovely girlfriend came on to Yahoo Messenger, I was too tempted, and ended up chatting with her. So it seems our mini-feud is over.

Work again tomorrow.....

20.11.04

Subject: Notice from Great Britain

To the citizens of the United States of America :

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are cr*p and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French; they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776)

19.11.04

Need Glasses?

Addiction has a new name

The earliest time I've gone to bed this week was last night. At 1am. I've been crawling around the office half awake for the whole of this week. Every night, I promise I won't do it again. My addiction is taking me to pieces. But last night, I was at it again.

Addiction is a terrible thing. It can destroy everything you hold dear. Don't let it get you !!



On the upside, I've played 10 matches, and Liverpool is sitting at the top of the premiership. Still a long way to go, but I've won over the fans, and hopefully this is going to be a superb season. I was born to do this job !! Last night, I had a cracking Champions League match, where Henchoz scored a 90th minute goal to give us all 3 points. When I get home tonight, my first match is a Champions League match with AC Milan. A match I need to win to cement my position as group leader.

All I can say is THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY !!

17.11.04

Not the best way to start the day…..

Got this email first thing this morning from one of the managers in the office, with regards to a project I just completed (Well, it's still kinda of onging, but it's almost complete):

I think that the communication and the way this has been implemented is shambolic.

{Your Boss} knows my thoughts and as I told him I will be bringing it up at the meeting on Monday.

{Manager}

I just noticed something

Something happened at the gym today that overshadowed the excitement and euphoria of my first unsupervised gym session. Something that made me stop and think....

After my workout, I went into the changing rooms. As I moved towards my locker, there was a guy dressing up, who made a hissing noise and gave me a really horrible look, and then packed all his stuff and went to dress up on the other side of the room. I was a bit puzzled, as the place he 'moved to' was even more crowded. Was I oozing body odour? Nope, but even if I was, it was a gym !! Then it hit me....

That look in his eyes, I had seen it before. And it all made sense. I looked round the dressing room. I was the only black person there. My mind went back to my entire time in the gym today....and there was no other black person in the gym. My mind went back even further in time to my previous 3 visits to the gym. And there were no black people either. Bugger. All of a sudden, I felt self-concious. I felt so different. I felt.....out of place.

In the city, most black people are security guards, or cleaners. So for a black city worker in a city gym, I guess it's new for some folk. In my office, I'm the only black person. Out of 60 people. But even on the other 3 or 4 offices in our building, I haven't seen any other black person who isn't a cleaner or security guard. But I've never felt out of place at work. Not once. I've been made to feel like one of the gang. As I walked out of the gym, and to the tube station, I kept an eye out. And for the entire 10 minute journey, I was the only black guy in sight........

I thought that there were a lot more black people in the city, but I guess I'm mistaken. There are a few Asians though.....4 in my office. A few in the gym even.

It's a shame that guy didn't want to dress up near me....Actually, maybe it's a good thing. I needed the space

Pit Falls

This particular man was taking a shortcut through the graveyard one dark night. That was a mistake, because the gravediggers had just opened a new site, in preparations for a funeral early the next morning.

The unfortunate man took a headlong plunge into the deep pit. It began to rain, and the sides became slippery, besides being deep. Try as he may (and he did again and again) he could not climb out. Finally he resigned himself to wait for the caretakers the next morning, and he settled into a corner.

Just before dawn another man, who had been "out on the town" all night and who was definitely inebriated, stumbled into the same grave. He yelped and started trying his best to get back topside.

After a few attempts, this deep voice from the corner said, "It's no use. You can't get out!"

But he did...

16.11.04

Gym tonight

One of the things I love about 20Six is the ability to blog by email. So I can blog at work, and everyone thinks I'm typing an email....how cool is that !!

Tonight will be my first unsupervised session in the gym. I'm a bit anxious.....but I hope it goes well. Was in two minds about going tonight, as someone is coming to speak at church that I would really like to hear, however, there are not going to be enough seats for everyone, so I'll do the honourable thing, and let someone else get a seat. (Or avoid getting there, and getting turned back at the door !) So let's see how it will go. It will also be my first FULL session, and should take 40 minutes in total (apart from waiting for free spaces on the machines).

Some people in the office have started taking bets on how long it will take for me to give up. They don't know me at all...................

Phew…………..

OK, got my broadband working...well, to an extent. Unfortunately, the extension to my room that I painstakingly waited at home for on Thursday...is coated with aluminium which kills the ADSL signal. So the wireless router has to stay downstairs....in the basement. Not good. Signal is not exactly the best....but what can I do? Next month, I'll buy a better network card and see how it all pans out. But for now.....this is it. With the broadband, I have decided to do personal internet stuff at home now, and concentrate on work. My boss made a comment today, which I interpreted as me not pulling my weight. So that means that blogging will henceforth be a nocturnal activity.

So....I don't wanna make this post too long (cos that means no one will read it), so I'll summarise what I've been doing since Thursday:

Thursday: Didn't get to much. Worked with landlord to put a phone extension in my room (which sadly was a waste of time). Tackled the mountain of laundry in my room (washing and ironing). My dad was meant to come back from Paris, but he called at night to say he couldn't make it till Friday. That complicated our plans for Friday....meant to go to Glouscester to see my brother.

Friday: Tried to buy my PC at Currys. They were out of stock. Waited for dad to rest a little. Left home around 11am. Got to Swindon at 1.15....only to find we had missed our connecting train by 10 minutes. The next train was at 3.25 !! Great. Luckily my bro and his girlfriend drove down to Swindon to pick us up. We went out for a bite...got back, flat tyre. Long day. Got home around midnight.

Saturday: Good thing I didn't buy my PC at Currys. The spec at PC World was a lot better for a similar price.(This one has a DVD-RW! Bargain for £400). I was given a pack of empty CDs for free. Set it up, and tried to sort out the broadband. That didn't work. Tried and tried and tried. Couldn't figure it out.

Sunday: After reading the support pages of the ISP, I figured that the extension cable was at fault. Went to the source of the phone line in the basement and it worked !! However, it's a bit far from my room, and so it's not exactly ideal. But at least, I've got broadband at home.......

Monday: Back to work. It seems my boss has realised I'm struggling with my job, and he made a comment about sending me for training to make me more effective. My new aim is to try and read up as much as I can, so that I can show him I don't need training................maybe that will impress him. Impress the boss = Get a good review = PAY RISE in December 2005 (Hey, I like to plan ahead !)

15.11.04

Liverpool 3 Crystal Palace 2

All I'll say is this.

90 minutes played.

Game tied at 2-2.

Penalty awarded to Liverpool.

Up steps Baros.

Scores.



Hattrick.

ELATION>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It may only be Crystal Palace, but we're still doing ok. If we win our game in hand, we go 4th. Stevie G is doing well, and should be coming back soon, played some part in a reserve match tonight.However, it seems Dudek may be leaving soon, according to BBC Sport. I've always liked Kirkland, but with all his injuries.....we'll need a pretty good goalkeeper to cover for him.

Anyway, let's see what happens. Next stop...Boro on Saturday. Let's go get them !!

10.11.04

Lock up your daughters (It’s my day off tomorrow) !!

It's been mad today. I've been running around like a headless chicken since 8am. I've got a document to submit by 4pm that I haven't started working on yet. I've got to send out 2 emails to the entire company explaining some stuff I did last night. THANK GOD I'VE GOT THE REST OF THE WEEK OFF.

Just confirmed that I'm getting paid on Friday. So that means I buy my PC on Saturday. I have to go to the gym on Thursday or Saturday, will decide on that. Thursday: I've got a HEAP of laundry to so. Also, I should be doing an extension for the phone in my house for my room, and I've got a choir rehearsal at 7.30 pm. Friday: Got to go down to Gloucester with my dad to see my younger bro. Saturday: New PC. Need to set up broadband connection before my housemate eats my head off.

Back to the grind on Monday. So I guess I'll be doing limited blogging till Monday (well, till Sunday, when I get broadband!)..

9.11.04

It’s a beautiful day

My broadband will be activated on Friday. I'm off on Thursday and Friday, so I'll spend Thursday building a wireless network at home, I'm off to see my brother in Gloucester on Friday, and hopefully come back to a world of internet paradise on Saturday. Ah......

I've got a session with my personal trainer today. Today, we're doing weights, which I've never done before, and have no idea how it will go. Looking forward to it though. After today, I'll be 'unleashed' on the gym for 2 months, and will have a review done to see how much progress I've made. The target is for me to weigh 90kg by then...........

I'm off on Thursday and Friday, so I have a mountain of work to complete, so no one calls me on my days off. I want to forget that this office exists......

I've decided to buy a new PC. The one I 'have' at home, is an old one I picked up from the office, and it can't go wireless, and it doesn't have enought memory to play Football Manager 2005. I will be buying a new one in the next few months anyway, and will be stuck with 2 PCs in my very small room if I take the one in the office home. So I am playing with the idea of forking out £400 for the cheapest PC in Currys, and surviving on £200 or so for the rest of the month. All of this depends on me getting paid by my agency on friday.......

And now, I need to get some work done........see you all later !!

5.11.04

STOP PRESS !!!

I've been paid !! (Well, for half of last month, but who's complaining?)

Have a GRREEEAT weekend people.....

Yesterday

Gym went well. My fitness instructor is a girl. Basically, we determined that I'm obese (tell me something I don't know). Infact, so obese, that on her BMI chart, I'm 'off the map' completely !! So the aim is to get me to 'overweight' in the next 2 months. (I bet you never thought you'd hear that). Also, my body mass is about 43.1% fat.

Went on the treadmill, exercise bike and walker for about 5 minutes each, as she watched me pant and almost break into tears. On my exercise program, I'll be doing about 13 minutes of each. I'll also need to do weights, so I have another session with her on Tuesday to work out a regime for that as well. I hope to go to the gym on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays(or Saturdays).

Went pretty well, looking forward to it. So the aim is to get me weighing 90kg by mid January. On the plus side, I've gone from 138kg (yes, I'm a heavy man, go figure) to 127kg with only dieting (1 month!), so this is pretty encouraging. This may yet turn out to be an exciting journey.I'm going to need a lot of motivation and dedication to do this....and I guess this blog will help in that respect.

WATCH THIS SPACE !!!

In other (sad) news, my university has been shut indefinately, as a student was shot by police. Students were protesting the fact that their results for the last session had not yet been released (a normal occurence, believe me, I never saw my first semester Part I results till I was in Part III!!), and in the course of the 'peaceful protest', the Vice-Chancellor was beaten up pretty badly. Police were called in, and in the ensuing melee, a student was killed. Sad, sad news. Story is here.

4.11.04

Update

Haven't blogged since Monday......

The money situation has gone from bad to worse. It looks like the earliest time I'll get any money is next Friday. And I've got just £47 in the bank now....with a credit card bill of about £10 coming in for next week. Things are tight, super tight. HELP..........

I saw the new Playstation2 at Currys on Monday, and it was love at first sight. It's so smalll, it's cute. It's like a fashion item now, the £99 price tag pays for the aesthetic value alone !! MUST BUY....but with my money all over the place, it's looking more and more unlikely, may have to wait till early next year. But with the Playstation 3 coming out in 2006, that might spell an upgrade in a few months.....but hey...who cares? And so dies my XBox dreams.........



I've got a one-2-one session at the gym today, where I'm going to be made to run till I drop. They'll take my blood presuure, etc...and come up with an exercise program for me. I hope I can run for about 30 seconds before I faint.....wouldn't want to look like a wuss.

and on the subject of the birthday that won't go away, had another small 'celebration' last night, at my choir lifegroup meeting.



And immediately after taking the picture, I FINALLY changed the date on the camera, and decide that stamping pictures with the date is not very smart, and it won't happen again.

Some family news just came in, and we (the family) are all trying to come to terms with it. It's a bit too personal to blog, so I won't.

And with that, I'm off to change for the gym..........

1.11.04

X-Factor (The best Birthday present ever!!)

I remember about two months ago, when I was trying to decide what to do on my birthday. As it fell on a Saturday, I wanted to do something memorable, but at the same time, something 'different'. Top of my list was taking a group of friends out for a paintballing session. Then along came X-Factor. And I got everything I wanted, a birthday I am not going to forget in a hurry, and it was certainly something different !! I had so much fun, and I'm really grateful for having to opportunity to take part in the show!!

It was a really long day, and I had to leave my house at about 6am...to get to Startford for 7am, where a friend picked me up, and we drove off to the studio. The first rehearsal was at 8.30am, and we got to meet the contestants for the first time. Then we had a short break, and some coffee/tea with the contestants mingling with us, and then a proper dress rehearsal at 2.30pm, where the judges (Simon Cowell, Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh took part). Then the show went live at 6pm.

It being my birthday, I got a birthday kiss from Cassie and she actually sat with my friend and I just before the show, which was pretty cool. She was really, really cool, and I got to see her in a complete nervous state (and she even tore her meal ticket into pieces!), just before going on the show.



Steve was another contestant that I connected with, and he's also a really, really great guy. While waiting for the results, I got to chat with 3 of the guys from G4. What I found was that all the contestants are just really nice people who enjoy singing and are loving the opportunity they've been handed, but they're simply just great people.......







Voices with Soul heard the choir singing and praying, and actually came into our dressing room to join us, and we prayed for them. They were really dissapointed with being in the bottom two last week, and getting through on the first attempt this week must have been a confidence booster.

Anyway, after the results show, we had drinks...and then home....got home at exactly 12.45 am !! What a great way to spend my birthday, eh?

However, my phone was off for most of the day, so I missed out on a lot of birthday calls, and I didn't get to spend the day with those that matter to me the most, but hey, if the queen can have an official birthday, then why can't I?!

Today, I have returned to life as an IT engineer.............talk about coming back down to earth. New Photblog with all the pics......Unfortunately, I had the wrong date on my camera......so from today, I'll stop putting the date on all my photos.....very embarassing, seeing as I have to send the pictures to loads of people. Anyway I've got 9 photos at www.20six.co.uk/boso2

29.10.04

From bad to worse

Just found out when I'll get paid. End of next month.

Skint on my birthday

I'm totally skint. Don't have a dime. I was expecting to get paid today from 2 sources, and I've been let down twice. So right now, I've got my rent money in my bank account, and very little will be left after that. My agency has promised to pay me next friday, so that will sustain me for a while. My new employers though, I'm not sure when I'll get my wages from them, as the accountant is on paternity leave...and I'll need to sort out any issues with him.

:(

So it's happy birthday to me :)  tomorrow.........but no money...so no celebrations. It's a good thing I'm doing the X-Factor thing, otherwise I'd have been stumped.

Boo hoo..............

28.10.04

Busy Bee

I've been so busy the last few days. I'm getting really scared I'm gonna burn out. I'm thinking of taking some days off, but with just 10 days holiday till next June, I've gotta be a little careful. Was hoping to take a week off when I get my new XBox/Playstation, so I can 'break it in' properly.

Thinking of getting broadband at home now, that will definately increase my blogging frequency! I've got another flatmate onboard, and a free wireless router from the office, so it looks all set to go !! Will talk to him over the weekend, and hopefully, it should all be up by the end of November.

Life is moving fast.....

I wrecked a server last night, and I'm spending today rebuilding it (again). Work is moving at such a fast pace, I hope I can keep up !!

X-Factor

I'm getting more and more excited about the TV show by the day ! Hopefully, I'll get some pictures for all of you on Monday........I've thought about it, and there are worse ways of spending my birthday than singing to 15 million people on live TV (well, like I did mention, we'll be backing up the main contestants, and I'll be in a 30-man choir, so I may only get a few seconds, if I get any time on the screen at all!). I'm most likely going to be in the front row (we have done a standing arrangment).

And we've also got the London Community Gospel Choir coming in now, and 10 of them will join our 20 (hence, the 30-man choir), which is really cool, they are simply the best in the business on this side of the pond. So I'm really excited to rub shoulders with them, Simon Cowell, Sharon Osborne, Louis Walsh, and all the other wonderful people I'll hopefully meet.

If you've got ITV2, we're also going to be on the X-tra factor, where one or two of us will be interviewed. So, it's really, really exciting, I'll be completely knackered when I wake up on Sunday morning afternoon, but I'm sure it will all be worth it !!!

So here's to me having a WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY !!  In advance of course.....

23.10.04

XBox vs. Playstation

A week ago, I had my mind made up, I was goign to get myself an Xbox. Well, today, I had a chat with my bosses, and both of them basically thrashed the Xbox, telling me to forget about that and get myself a Playstation 2 instead? What do I do?

I'm confused !!!!!!!

22.10.04

The X-Factor

Have to be careful when I blog about my involvement in this TV show, at the rehearsal, we were told about infringment of copyright, how much the media is looking for a story on the show, etc....basically, don't talk too much about the show.

So I can confirm only this:

1. On Saturday, the 30th of October (my birthday) I will be in a choir of about 20 people, backing up Simon Cowell's contestants on live TV, watched by approximately 12 million people.

2. I've had one rehearsal, where we were told which contestant was singing which song, and practised the first song.

Now, we wait with bated breath for this week's show. If any of Simon's guys get voted off, then we're only going to be singing 2 songs instead of 3. So I'm gonna vote 3 times. Make sure you all do the same !!

Have a great weekend.

21.10.04

Fish heads

A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.

"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"

"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear.  "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it.  Fish heads.  You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."

"You sell them here?" the customer asks.

"Only $4 apiece," says Green.

The customer buys three.  A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

"You didn't eat enough, " says Green.  The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads.  Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.

"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 a piece when I can buy the whole fish for $2.  You're ripping me off!"

"You see?" says Green.  "You're smarter already."Â

20.10.04

10 days to go….

To my birthday. Just checking the counter thingy on the top of this blog. So what do I want for my birthday? I was going to buy an XBox, as I may have mentioned yesterday, but due to some confusion on the part of my recruitment agency/employers, I may not be able to do that this time around. I had budgeted to buy one with 5 games, totalling about £200 for everything, then I saw this little number on ebay. 10 games and an Xbox, all for £195.50 !! (plus £16 for delivery) I emailed the seller, asking if this was real, it seems too good to be true. And you are meant to pick out any 10 games from any game ever made for the Xbox. This is a real bargain. However, none of the other people who have paid for it have received theirs (I've emailed a few of them), so I'm a little skeptical. However, the seller has excellent feedback. The sale ends on Friday, so I guess I'll give it a miss, even though I'd really like to buy it. So I've made up a little list, just in case some millionaire comes accross this blog, and decides to part with a tiny part of his fortune.

1. Halo 2 (But Halo 1 will do for now)
2. GTA Double Pack
3. NBA Street Vol. 2
4. Splinter Cell 3 (But Splinter Cell 2 will do for now)
5. FIFA 2005
6. LMA Manager 2005 (But 2004 will do for now)
7. Driv3r
8. Spiderman 2
9. Need for Speed 2: Underground
10. Psi-Ops

Also, my amazon.co.uk wish list is one of the links on the side of this blog.

Anyway, that's enough dreaming for one day.....back to work.

A perfect 10

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd really love to be ten again" she replied wistfully. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, got up, made her a nice big bowl of Frosties and then took her off to their local theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then it was off to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster, complete with a hot-dog, popcorn, a big fizzy drink, and huge bag of M&M's, her favourite sweets.

What a time she had!Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed
exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, Darling, what was it like being ten again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

She replied, "You idiot! I meant my dress size!"

19.10.04

So much to say, so little time

Work: Busy, busy, busy. Haven't had time to breathe recently. No time to blog either. Just found out this morning that there's a little confusion over the start date for my permanent employment. I was sent another contract to sign for the last 2 weeks, and my permanent employment apparently started yesterday !! Confusion Central. My dreams of buying an Xbox at the end of this month have gone down the drain. Hopefully, by next month, everything will have 'normalised', and I can plan for the future properly (The future being the XBox).

Choir: After Church on Saturday, I was called aside to speak to one of the choir leaders. Apparently, I've been selected to sing with 19 other choir members on another TV show. This one is HUGE, to put it in perspective, BBC Songs of Praise is watched by 5 million people each weekend, this show is watched by 8 million people. The show is going to be recorded live on the 30th of October (my birthday, the first time in ages my birthday is on a Saturday, and I can't go out !! :( ). But I guess the fact that I'll be live on TV, and meeting a few celebrities will make up for that. Unfortunately, I can't mention the name of the show, as other choir members will only find out on Thursday. However, if anyone guesses the name of the show in the comments section of this post, I will tell you if you got it right or wrong. (Anyone apart from the researcher who knows already, you know who you are!!).

Life is good.

Chuffed

Everyday, on my way to work, I walk past a bookmakers on my way to the station. On Friday, I actually took a look at the odds for Liverpool to win the title. A dissapointing 40-1. Not that they were wrong. After all, we were in the bottom half of the table, and had not played well at all. Arsenal were 7-1. I didn't look at any of the others.

On Saturday, I was scheduled to sing in church, so just before the service started, I checked the score using the WAP service on my mobile phone. We were down, 2-0 to flipping Fulham. Just great. After the service, I had a text from a friend, saying we'd won the match 4-2. I thought it was too good to be true. So I had to give him a call. He had listened to the match on the radio, and said it was a cracker. Seeing the highlights later that night, I can only say I was chuffed to be a Liverpool fan. I wonder what the manager said at half time, but it turned the team around !!

Diao played crap, and the match only came alive when he was replaced with Alonso. I think the manager is still trying to figure out the team, which is not exactly great news at this point of the season. But if you think about it, if Livepool win their match in hand, they go 4th. Which isn't bad at all.

Benitez seems to engaged in a war of words with Liverpool legend cum TV pundit Alan Hansen. I think he should just shut up, and do his job. Prive Hansen wrong with the results on the pitch. That's what all Liverpool fans want.

The odds in the bookies have been cut to 33-1 (this morning). Arsenal are now 11-4 favourites to win the title (may have something to do with a certain Chelsea losing a match this weekend).

Tonight Liverpool lock horns with Deportivo La Coruna in the Champions League. Glory awaits the mighty Reds.